This post may surprise you

To be fair, I am going to post this entry, which I wrote last week. Hm, how the darkness has changed so quickly! I don't know if the light is here to stay, but here's a look into the darkness that has been consuming me for the past month:

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Youth camp materials left un-tended-to.
Care package left uncompleted; months and months late; meaningless, stupid and awkward now. Regret sticks through like a thick needle.
Good music coming out of the speakers. Music like I ache to make. Frustration like a straight jacket.
Shaver sitting unplugged on the cabinet since I haven't even unpacked from the weekend yet. Tousled, messy room condemning me from every ugly corner.
Deep piles of mail quietly deriding my negligence from weeks and months past. Have I incurred another overdraft from an unpaid account? Worry like a stab in my stomach.
I read the birthday card from Mom and Dad, and love them, but I just don't agree with their warm words of encouragement. I don't think they're right.
It's 10 o'clock. You're already late. You stupid worthless piece of junk, flopped on the couch doing F***ING INTERNET while your life rolls by you untended into the junk heap and you wring your hands but never do a thing and see the wreck coming but NEVER DO A THING.

I am tired, tired, tired, oh so tired of hating everything I am.

--I am not a clear ambassador. That's a hypocritical signature. I'm a failed launch, hearing loss, an inflammed knee, Applebee's cocktails, and a deserted shopping mall.

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Just for clarification, the things listed above did NOT make me feel this way. I've finally decided to let a bit of this out, and cleaning up my room just gave some examples to use.