The weekend of a concert and a sore throat

I'm trying to think of where and how to start this post, and all that really comes to mind is "Sheez...another whole weekend in Akron!"

What was supposed to be a Friday night concert and short Saturday practice turned into a whole Friday afternoon to Monday morning extravaganza, setting me once again on the Ohio roads I'm feeling more and more at home on, and mixing me in yet again with the Ohio people I'm getting more and more familiar (like family) with. When I walked in to Covenant of Grace's vaulted little sanctuary for the second week in a row, Jason shook his head and said "Man, you really could take the new member's class!" And after going up for prayer after the sermon, and lining up with others who wanted the gift of prophecy, and standing arm-in-arm with Dr. Negi and Justin Murphy praying for each other, you could almost agree with him.

But it's not really like that, and I definitely felt a bit funny being there and totally missing another weekend of the life of Providince Church of Pittsburgh. I guess it was Eric's last Sunday leading worship (Ryan's leading this week), which was a downer to miss, and I didn't see his email about playing in the band until Saturday night. I definitely know I can't keep up this level of Akron activity indefinitely. It completely amputates the weekends from the rest of my days, and it surrounds me with people I feel very comfortable with but whom I don't actually know that well, and who don't actually know me that well either. It makes me do and say a lot of things I don't do or say with the folks in Pittsburgh, and it lets me be something I can't really be here. But it sure as heck is fun!

Like Steve said last weekend: in some ways these are golden days of our lives, and we'll look back on them fondly yet sadly when they're gone. Jobs, families and responsibilities will soon enough blow away these random, somewhat wasteful, free-wheeling times. But as Dad is quick to point out, they bring with them deeper and more lasting joys--the things God made us for as men and women. I do think there is a special, God-given pleasure in the freedom of youth, though, and I bet it touches on a hint of the feeling we'll get when we arrive in Heaven, and realize we don't have to consider time any more(!!). So, I'm enjoying these times very much, even as I know they can't go on for long.

And you know what else? I have learned a TON about people and life through my adopted citizenship in the rubber city. I never knew how atypical Mom is as a representative of the females of the species until I became Mrs. Hoffman's "#1 son." I didn't used to know how to hang out with people who wouldn't talk seriously about meaningful things. I did not realize how little I knew about people, and how much of them was actually there under the hasty-yet-certain judgments of my over-eager brain. I hadn't seen as clearly how people really do change, and how they change without me lecturing or badgering or teaching or reprimanding them. I didn't realize that I was not above erupting in spouts of real anger towards my brothers and pets given the right provocations and miscommunications. I did not realize how much God has blessed PChOP with a peaceful life and a gloriously smooth transfer of senior pastorship. I didn't know how much fun it is to have an 11-year-old brother around to babble and help with stuff and hang out with whatever's going on. And honestly, I just didn't have nearly as much respect for other people. Even as I've been somewhat puffed up by the mystique of ignorance and the apparitions of talent, I have been deeply humbled and profitably deflated in Akron by seeing my prideful judgements proved dead wrong and people, totally apart from myself, changing and growing and being real. It's hard to describe exactly, but it has come from a year of experience, which gives it a practical vigor that money can't buy. It's cool, and I'm happy to find myself a fool :-)

So...this weekend in particular? Heh. The concert doesn't even seem like the same set of days. But it was, and here are the shining moments in my memory as I look back:

Walking into the big gym-type building (simply referred to as "Mull Ave.") and seeing, rising before me like something I shouldn't be around, a huge black stage and glinting drum set, and a mountainous sound booth crowned with a 15-foot-high projector. It looked like Switchfoot should be playing, not me and Brian and Stephen! Dude, Stephen's stage, which was just stacks of rough-sanded boards and flanges and pipes last week, was covered with black flooring; the edges had black fabric down to the floor; all cables were run underneath, and it all rose two or three feet above the room. And there sat our subs, products of such imprecision and agony, in brooding black, crowned with stacks of speakers. I was awe-struck as I walked up to the stage, there in the dark echoing empty room. I began to realize that this concert was actually going to happen, and it was actually going to be a pretty good show :-)

Mike arrived at Mull Avenue a few minutes later and juiced up the system, giddily eager to show me how it sounded. He powered up whatever amps and EQ's resided in that moster rack of his, and soon enough the opening strains of "Beatiful Day" started coming out. He pushed up some faders, and the whole room seemed to come into line with the sound waves. I started to praise it, and he shooshed me. "Wait 'till it really comes in." When the bass and drums came crashing in with Bono's voice on the chorus, I finally realized that what we had made WORKED. And moved air. I shook my head happily as those boxes of wood we put together pounded the air in that whole building and sounded good! That was a happy moment--the feeling of a creator seeing his creation succeed. (And I was only like 2nd string assistant creator. Mike did the hard work.)

Major shining moment: sitting behind the drums, pounding away like I have for dozens of practices down in the Hoffman's basement, and realizing as I looked out between the cymbals that there were a couple hundred people out there jumping up and down and screaming to our music! We were finally here! We were on a big stage, the sound was working, there was enough low end, we could hear well enough to play together, and there were other people who were actually enjoying it! And in the haze of residual smoke machine fog and the glow of stage lights, those fans looked pretty cool, and it really seemed like we were playing a concert :-) Now, *cough*, most of those folks knew us as friends and would probably love whatever we did, to some degree, and there were at tops 200, and the sound wasn't perfect, and between every song we had to kill time while Brian tuned or swapped out his guitar after busting another string...but still, we played, we had a blast, and they had a blast. I guess from a Godless standpoint that's really what rock bands are all about, and it was quite an experience.

Let's pause for a few details and lowlights :-) I woke up Friday morning wretchedly sick. I ached unbearably, my head was on the edge of dizziness, and the back of my mouth began that hateful swelling--one of my least favorite feelings ever. I still got up super early, though, and got to work at 20 to six. I finished the DMR and a few routine items, croaked with Jane a bit, and then staggered out to my car at 11 o'clock, dreading the hour-and-a-half drive ahead of me. It ended up being ok though, mostly because of the sunny sky and the Advil I took. I got to Mull Avenue at 12:30 and from then till 4 or so I and an ever-increasing group of people prepared and set up for the concert. We sound checked and practiced early in the afternoon, and then the other bands practiced. And we started getting worried, 'cause they were really good and we felt pretty sucky and lame. But alas. We're creative and original, we're only 3 instruments, we have a lot of fans who love us and know our songs, and we're really not hung up on ourselves. The other bands played, starting at 7, and did rock the house, but not so much so that we didn't hold our own (according to people we asked). I was sick all day, but still sang and played. The teardown afterwards would have been abject misery, but Jen pushed me into a couch and brought me water and made me rest, which probably kept me from getting totally washed out. Nevertheless, I was up till 2am loading and unloading hundreds of pounds of gear in the bitter cold night. Teardown sucks, and that night was perhaps the lowlight. But really it was all fine.

Sleeping in Saturday was blessed. Sleeping in till 2:30, though, was a bit much! That left the rest of the day basically taken up with Brian getting here, trying to round up him and Stephen, and making two trips to Mull Avenue to get all the stuff. Bless 'em, though, Bri and Steve did the first trip themselves and let me and Craig take the bass amp to Lentine's and go to the Hatterie. That got me moving enough to help with the second trip, despite my plaguing dizziness and painful throat. It's getting to be more and more fun to hang out with Steve and Brian as a band, and Brian even sorta regretted setting up dinner with other friends when he realized we could have hung out and had taco salad at the Hoffmans.

I loaded up my plate with this huge taco salad, eager to dig into Mrs. H's great food and give my body the nourishment it needed. I pushed it away 20 minutes later, one-fourth eaten. My energy had given out and my appetite had died at the foot of my cold. I eventually finished it, but that night I was really under the illness, and made for bed as soon as possible. "No, I'm not watching the Bride!" *more whining from the den [:-)]. Come watch the Bride!* "Sorry, I'm sure it's a great production, but I'm going to bed." And so I did with the firm resolution of desperate need, and so I procured nearly 10 hours of sleep while still getting up at 9 o'clock Sunday morning. The time between 11pm and 1am sucked, though, 'cause I just couldn't sleep, and tossed and turned under the sleeping bag, and drove Brandy away, and poured sweat, yet got chilled as soon as I got out from under the covers. Rarely can I not sleep, and I did NOT enjoy the experience. [I don't know how you do it, wood elf.] THAT was the lowlight of the trip, no doubt. Not a fun time. But finally I took calcium and B, and was asleep pretty soon after that. Yay for witch doctor drugs!

Church was good, but also kinda weird, as I said above. I almost played one of my recordings from my iPod for the offering music, but we didn't have the right adapters :-( Rebekah was on spring break, so she was there, which was an unexpected bonus. Got to hear more about the upheavals at PHC and God's accompanying grace.

Another good highlight was going to lunch after church. I asked around and kept asking, and finally rounded up Steve, Mike, Jess, Jen, Craig and Chad for Chipotle (Brian man, you missed out!). It was very much like last summer. We got our food and sat around a double table outside (yes, outside!), and with one question I started a productive conversation which lasted the duration of the dining. We mostly hang out in rather superfluous ways, so it's always good to hear what God's doing in our lives. We'd all gone up that morning for prayer after church, so we went around and shared, if we wanted, what we'd gotten prayed for. It's just cool to see God making changes, showing us previously unseen sins, convicting us of areas that need work, and blessing us with His Holy Spirit in real ways. Like I said there, in ten or twenty years we're going to be the people leading the care groups and preaching the sermons, so if we don't start getting real with this stuff now, when will we? It's good stuff :-)

Sunday was the marathon day. Church, lunch, loading up and setting up for practice at the Chima's, practicing hard for four and a half hours, hanging around in the Chima's house for a long time, going back to the Hoffman's, unloading more, helping Steve with his paper, and finally turning down more appeals to watch "The Bride" and going up to bed at 11pm. Practice was definitely a highlight. One of Brian's neighbors and her little daughter, huge Pure Boss fans, came over for it, and ended up sitting in the chilly garage for all four and a half hours watching us play and singing along and dancing around the driveway :-) It made us enjoy it a lot more, even as we dredged up 6-month-old songs and hammered through tough arrangements like "My Plea" and "Fly From Me." We're still amazed that they stayed the whole time! We're very appreciative :-) Hanging out after practice was fun, too. I had been thinking lately that I'd like to spend some time at the Chima's and get to know Brian's family better.. and we did! Mrs. C graciously brought us hot chocolate out in the garage, and when we came in later she heated up turkey for us and got us pop. That was hotrockinawesome, to say the least. We planned out the set list for the Orange Street gig this Friday and then sat around the kitchen table with Nick and bantered for like an hour. Brian and Nick are some funny guys, I tell you what.

My throat was raped from that practice, and the rest of Sunday was spent with pain at every swallow and rasp in every spoken word. It's like that now, Monday night, and I just pray that as I eat well, sleep tons, drink lots and lots of water and try to talk little, my body will get itself back in shape for this Friday. I sound like my voice is changing :-P

Monday morning I got up in time to be at work like normal, but called in and said I'd be late, and got another hour and a half of sleep. No messing around--this cold is going DOWN! Sleep is good, and was a highlight of the weekend. I think for a few days there I actually got enough sleep, and wasn't tired during the days! Kinda crazy. I'm going in to work late tomorrow, too, for the same reason.

For now, the house is empty, and I've been pretty lonely tonight. I've been sadder leaving Akron these last few times, and especially now, as Mom and Dad are in Orlando and Daniel's in Chicago and Daisy's at the Quinlisks. I'm sorely missing the bubbly company that surrounds me over there. But that means I'm setting myself less on God. So I'm letting myself feel the loneliness, and taking it to Jesus, offering it up and praying that He will be that to me, and much more. It's easy and attractive to fill yourself with happy friends who like you and fun things you do, but if there's nothing else beneath that, you're gonna feel the pangs of emptiness as soon as it's taken away. Such I have felt, and feel a bit now, and so I go to the Jesus that John wrote about, to the Jesus magnified in Hebrews, to the Jesus who sends the whole universe fleeing at the sight of His face in Revelation, .. to the Jesus who stood there in the dusty temple and told the people standing in front of Him "Before Abraham was, I am." .. to the Jesus who immediately reached out His hand and caught Peter as he started to sink on the waves of Galilee. Ah, may I come to actually know you, Lord! Thank You for Akron, and may Your will be done there, and here, as it is in Heaven. Amen, and please help my cold to heal very fast :-)

--Croaky Ambassador