YC in 14 hours

Well, I didn't think I'd be saying this for years and years, but

I FOUND A GREY HAIR IN MY BEARD!

Kinda scary. I dunno. Maybe it's just blond. Maybe I'm part Californian! Switchfoot, here I come!!

Youth Camp is tomorrow, and I've packed nothing but my electric guitar gear. And I'm very tired and would like nothing better right now than to just lean over a little further, slip off my headphones and collapse into oblivion. What hurts is that knowledge that, as I keep fighting to keep myself going, I'm denying my body rest it desparately needs. My joints have been getting irritable, which happens when I start accruing a long-term sleep deficit. I've already only *barely* written the final paper for Short Stories. Good thing this isn't Kafka, or I'd be SO dead. *shudder*. As it is, I think this paper wanders, misses some key points, and is raggedy when it could be tight and punchy. But those things haven't been harped on by Kate, our grad student teacher, and I think she'll like what I've written. *sigh* It hurts to let this paper go like this, but it hurts worse to think of the work it would take to make it solid. Low standards....what can I say?

That's pretty much it. Who cares about all the long-term things I'm unsure of, the grinding miserable ignorance that surfaced in Reactive Process Engineering this morning, all the many aspects of YC coming up, all the other million things I could devote pages to if I chose to. All I care about right now is getting my packing done and going to sleep. Shower tonight or in the morning? How am I going to do it in the morning? Get up in time, shower, drop off my paper before transport, and hoof it back home in time. Oh well. I will pack, I will sleep, and I will make it work, whatever happens. I wish I had the control to wake up when I need to. It would make my life fantastically better. How bitterly funny that so much of my life ends up hanging on when I am able to force myself to go to bed and when I can make myself wake up. Sleep. It cripples humanity by design. Reminds us that we're not gods. Sometimes I wish I was one, though :-/

Peace,

--Clear Ambassador