Shower Prayer

This verse from Psalm 119, which Dad directed me to yesterday, exactly captures my situation right now:

Direct my steps by Your word,
And let no iniquity have dominion over me.
--Ps. 119:133

Everything I think of that is weighing on me is covered by this verse. I feel the weight of Dad's impression, which he shared with me last night, that this time is a crucial point in my life. Either I get my spiritual life on track, or it becomes a long-term struggle, grinding through the demanding years of job and family.

Lord, You do not want that to be my life, and I DO NOT want that to be what happens. God, I will do whatever it takes to pursue You. There is so much that is lacking now! And this is all I've ever known. My spiritual life is like a heavy struggle, never where it should be, and I cannot picture anything different. Lord, may it not remain so! God, please bring the diligence and discipline that I do not have! The consistent times of being in Your word, hearing Your leading on a daily basis and walking in it, addressing sins as You bring them to light, and abiding in You. Like Dad. God, I want to be like Dad. And let it only be Your timing that keeps that from happening now, and may it only be Your wisdom that keeps it from looking like Dad's life.

Direct my steps by Your word, and let no iniquity have dominion over me! You wrote the words, God; I'm just praying them.