Thursday, March 26, 2009

10 Top

Great Albums:
- "Plans" by Death Cab for Cutie
- "Black Holes and Revelations" by Muse
- "Who We Are Instead" by Jars of Clay
- "Never Take Friendship Personal" by Anberlin
- "The Everglow" by Mae
- "The Young and the Hopeless" by Good Charlotte
- "Dog Problems" by The Format
- "Who's Next" by The Who
- "New Way to Be Human" by Switchfoot
- "Speak for Yourself" by Imogen Heap

Every one of these I get excited about. If you don't have them I would passionately argue that you should get them. I wish I could grab you by the shoulders and say Buy them!!

But in truth I would rather you obtain everything ever recorded by Hank Williams Sr., a couple compilations of Johnny Cash, "When the Sun Comes Down" by Leadbelly, "The Early Years" by Woody Guthrie, and "Songs and Sounds of the Sea" (which you would have to get from me). These are songs that are enjoyed most by singing them yourself, and growing familiar with them will arm you for boredom of any sort, showers of any length, and tasks of any repetitiveness. America is poorer for not knowing songs like these, or needing them anymore. They were chiseled in the forge of a thousand campfires and wagon trains, generations of singing, and a trillion clangs of hammer on steel. When properly received, they put all of the albums listed above to shame. That I firmly believe.

[P.S. This is why nobody wants to hear songs I write or learn or want to play. For some reason, my music tastes are directed towards (self-percieved) betterment, not enjoyment. More precisely, betterment of self through true enjoyment. Or enjoyment of "truth" (i.e. value, as determined by my NSHO). But who wants a music crusader around the campfire at midnight? Freakin' play Colbie Caillat and shut up, John.]

Monday, March 23, 2009

Night Shift at the Plant

Glass rolls down the line
Numbers slowly count the time
2 am, 3 am,
One by one they go
You don't care that the rest of the world sleeps.

Bright fluorescents know no hour
Warehouse roofs ignore the sky
Walk the concrete, open doors
Heavy boots on lengthy floors

Drink your coffee
Eat your food
Quarters clink in the vending machine
Gloves in pocket
Heat on face
Got to tend to everything

Push your glasses up your nose
Take a long step over a hose
Fans churn with ceaseless pull
Stand in the door and feel the sucking air

See what but a few have seen
Worlds of heat no man can ever tread
Cautious near to take a peek within
Hot breath of the beast upon your head

Never quiet
Never still
Dust and heat
And human will

Take and make the earth our slave
Make it make what can't be made
Motors quake and rafters climb
Bend it all to our design

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Two Cities, Two Lives, and Solomon

My past two weekends off I have gone on two trips, one to New York City and one to Akron, Ohio. Each of these places presented a lifestyle that part of me yearns for, and that is very different from my Pittsburgh life.

Two weeks ago I stepped into the bustling world of The King's College - a small but potent school with 200 highly motivated and ambitious students. In the heart of New York City they buffet themselves with tough, mind-shaping classes, and enter the world of high-power businesses, media, and generally the movers and shakers of our lives. Even when you babysit, you're watching the kids of multi-millionaires. Connections are around every corner and sitting in every coffee shop, and the students are thrusting themselves into every opportunity they can get.

This past weekend I entered the artistic, expressive world of the Akron/Cleveland area. Walking into the Thompsons' basement you can tell the house is filled with creatures that must express themselves. Paintings litter the walls, the basement is bursting with instruments, and Cory and Ryan's rooms are bedecked with random artifacts, paintings and signs. Craig walks around in all sorts of abnormal outfits, and never seems to play the same band twice, or any band that I recognize. Everyone plays something, and anytime two or more are gathered together, music is there. In the circles I hang out in there, local bands are thown around in conversation like the Pens or Steelers are in Pittsburgh. There are billboards for the Akron film festival, and the radio waves are full of excellent music, instead of the 80's and country that clog the Pittsburgh airwaves. People are sophisticated musically and artistically, and the cities support them.

Part of me wants to throw myself into either one of these worlds. Try to realize the potential that I believe I should have as a sharp homeschool with a Summa in chemical engineering and a restlessly analytical mind. Why shouldn't I be writing music reviews for a New York magazine? Why shouldn't I be interning at a studio, living in a Brooklyn apartment, and meeting people in the city and building a network there? I'd even settle for going back to college and returning to the joy and pain of forcing my mind around new concepts and whipping it into shape with lectures and classwork. I would love to learn about history and economics and sociology, and see what I did in a setting like that.
Or I could let go of my partial hold on normalcy and dive into the world of music people. Find a part-time job to pay the bills, join some bands, play every gig I could get, practice electric guitar every day, record my songs, write new ones, be challenged by people better than me, and work myself in to venues and radio stations and studios.

Part of me wants to do either of those.
Part.
I'm 24. If I was destined for one of those lives, an unwelcome voice whispers that I'd already be in one of them. If my soul cried for expression so strongly, I would be driven to my guitar, driven to my studio, instead of stuttering at the whim of my inspiration and sinking into laziness as a default. If I was such a brilliant mind, I'd be tearing it up at Guardian and motoring for advancement, probably with my sights on a PhD or a specific career path. Instead I sit with a couple toes in each pond, and my body resting in the comfortable, predictable suburban life of my parents and grandparents.

Enter Solomon.

He and I hung out Friday as I read Ecclesiastes. I'll give you two paraphrases of what I took away from my reading:
1) "People work and work and strive, and they never enjoy what they get, and die, and no one remembers them. That's no good. The best that there is in this world is to enjoy what you do every day, and seek wisdom."
2) The farmers always win.

Why is it that in every movie, it's the farmers who are happy? How many times have stories contrasted the dashing life of some adventurer with the peace of an agricultural community? "Magnificent Seven" acknowledged it up front at the end - the surviving gunmen are riding out of town, and Yul Brynner comments that it's the farmers who really win in the end. Jet Li's character in "Fearless" learns peace and wisdom from the village he ends up in after destroying his life with Wushu fighting. I believe that the fiction in these stories reflects the innate truth that Solomon lays out in Ecclesiastes:

What has a man from all the toil and striving of heart with which he toils beneath the sun? For all his days are full of sorrow, and his work is a vexation. Even in the night his heart does not rest. This also is vanity. There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God. (Eccl. 2:22-24)

It would be folly to make myself unable to enjoy my current life by fretting for something different. And it may be ok to be ok where I'm at.

That is not a possibility I would have considered a week ago.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Akron at Last

This past weekend I made it out to Akron - the first time in '09. It was my long weekend--off from Thursday evening till Monday evening--and Steve was supposed to come to Pittsburgh to record. There ended up being some attractive events in Akron, and I wasn't feeling the recording for some reason, so I packed up and headed out Thursday night at 11:30, after a stressful evening watching Pitt lose and the Pens lose in a shootout. I rolled into the Thompsons about 1:30 and hung there with Brian, Nick, Steve-O, Cory and Ryan. Just walking into their basement was like finally putting on a jacket that fits - there were amps everywhere, guitars, 2 drumsets set up, 2 keyboards, guitar pedals littering the floor and shelves, a recording computer with 3 sets of speakers surrounding it, and stacks of audio gear everywhere. We kicked it for awhile and then Steve and I retired to the Hoffmans.

Friday Steve worked and I went to the church for a "personal retreat." I stopped at Taco Bell and Starbucks beforehand, and was pleasantly surprised to see Jess at work. It made me realize how long it's been since I'd been around. My retreat was neither fantastic nor a failure, and I wrapped up around 6:30pm. That evening Steve and I tossed around possible concerts to go to, but ended up going to Giant Eagle and getting a bunch of low-grade steaks and a movie. The steaks were quite good, and so was Eagle Eye.

Steve had to work again Saturday, but I went to a seminar that Aaron Osbourn was doing at CoG. It was about the Holy Spirit, and went from 9:30 to around 4pm. I sat in the sound room with Craig, which was nice and relaxed and private. From there we went to the Thompsons' house, which Craig was going to be house-sitting for the week. Steve took awhile to get back from work and show up, and in the interim Craig and I went shopping for supplies for Autumn's 21st birthday party that night. People started arriving around 7:30, and we had a good night eating burgers, talking around the kitchen table, jamming in the basement, and eventually chilling in the hot tub outside long long into the morning. Jes Arlia is a great guy. I'm a fan.

I got up alright Sunday morning, but I was pretty tired that day. Church was good, and packed with people from Dayton who had come for the seminar. Craig, Steve and I hit up MetroBurger for lunch with Brian and Nick, and we all drifted across the street to an awesome record store and an "artsy person" clothes store. Turns out there are clothes that fit me _perfectly_ and look _awesome_, but they cost $100+ a pop. Sad. Craig, Steve and I went back to the Thompsons and ended up crashing in Cory's room watching Flight of the Concords and falling asleep. That was sad because it was a stunning day outside, and Tuminos and Mallinacks were going for a hike. It saddened me to coup myself up in a dark room watching media drivel and drifting lazily to sleep, but that's the price for partying the night before. That evening we went to a party that Ernie - a newer man from CoG - put together for the guys in the church. We had some good snacks and talking, and watched "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," which is quite a thought-provoking movie. That night a few people came over to the Thompsons, but we didn't do much - Craig and I watched a movie and hit the sack.

Monday I woke up a little past noon, packed up, and headed to the Tuminos' for lunch. It was another gorgeous day, and it was great to hang out in the house full of life and love. I had to tear myself away, and barely made it home in time to pack my lunch cooler, change into my work clothes, put on my boots, and go to work.

Thus endeth another weekend of my life. Thoughts from this and the trip 2 weekends previous shall be forthcoming.

New York City!

It actually happened! After much speculative conversation with Debs, an abort, and a re-bort (what's the opposite of abort?), I finally en verdad found myself in the car with Debs and her freshman year roommate Lydia, driving away from the Hetricks and headed east to the big city. I was pretty awake despite working that night, and only dozed for a couple hours through the middle of PA (Don't worry, Debs was driving). We arrive on the isle of Manhattan early in the afternoon, dropped off our baggage at her apartment, and took the car to Brooklyn to park it for the weekend. I shan't tell you where, so that I may keep that little nook as my own personal free parking spot. I'm a fan. Then it was the first of many subway rides.. back into the city, to Debs' apartment: 3C5. The four roommates of 3C5 are a fixture at Kings College, and that was sort of our home base for the tumultuous days we were there. I stayed at Matt, Kyle and John's apartment a few blocks away, pretty much drifting in and out like a phantom, and only seeing them once or twice.

I'll try to recap succinctly our varied adventures. After getting settled Friday we toured The King's College, which is located in the basement of the Empire State Building. Adventures getting through security. Ask me about it :-P
At first we were going to attend a TKC event that included dinner, but we ended up bailing and finding a pub to watch the Penguins game. Really really good coconut shrimp, Bushmills, and hockey game. By the end of the night most of the 3C5 girls and some other folks had congregated at our table, listening to Debs tell stories from work. I split at 12:30, when my lack of sleep finally caught up with me. Of course, I stayed up another 2 hours having a quiet time and soaking in the city from the 17th-floor apartment. So cool!

Saturday was crazy. I got up of my own accord at 7:30, and decided to go for a walk instead of sleeping more. So I forayed out with only a hoodie, seeking the edge of the island, not realizing it was actually 35 degrees out, despite being sunny. I never quite turned around, but I got really stinking cold. Worth it, though. I saw a helipad, a ConEd utility vehicle base, some crazy trucking center, a subway utility yard, and this random dock with boats and stuff that you could just walk on. It was sunny, fresh, blue skies and wonderful. Got back around 10:30, met up with Debs, and headed out with her and her friend Angie. We got frozen yogurt at Pinkberry (yogurt that's frozen. Not "less-fatty-ice-cream" that most of us call frozen yogurt), and darted into a pub to watch some rugby. Never mind the details, we ended up at The Frick, a sweet art museum, with Johanna, one of Debs' roommates. From there we killed some time at 3C5 playing risk, and headed to brgr for dinner with a big group of people. Best hamburger I've ever eaten, bar none. Then we all took a walk to this bakery, the cupcakes of which are the rave of everybody at Kings. Not life-changing, but the red velvet one was pretty good.
Our next activity, after some more chilling at the apartment, was Debs' hockey game. She plays with a league when she lives there, and her coach let her play this weekend, which she was stoked about. That game was one of my favorite parts of the trip - it was a lot of fun to watch, Debs' team played well, and it really made me appreciate the quality of hockey at the pro level, 'cause I'd never had anything to compare it to before. The game was from 11:30pm to 12:30am. At 2 Debs and I headed out from 3C5 to meet up with her friend Kyle at "Fat Baby," a club. Yes, we went clubbing! It was just like a movie - line out the front of the building, bouncer talking smack on everybody, dark inside with flashing lights, DJ boppin' and spinnin' records, everybody drinking and dancing.. the whole deal. Neither of us were at home in that scene, but it was still interesting to have done, and Kyle is a cool guy. We ended up going back to his apartment and watching Ferris Bueler's Day off, finally catching a cab back home at 5:30 :-) So that was Saturday - 22 straight hours of New Yorkinating, starting with a bagel sandwich at Pax and ending with the morning light creeping up the sides of the buildings as the cab threaded it's way through the still-busy streets.

Sunday we met up around 9:30 and rode into Brooklyn for church. We had enough time to stop at Blue Sky Bakery, whose muffins Debs had been talking up for a long time. Turns out, Blue Sky is pretty much the coolest bakery in the universe, and you have not even conceived of the possibility for deliciousness in a muffin until you've had one of theirs! Their coffee is incredible, too. I got a T-shirt, which is also bangin, and the whole place was much cheaper and friendlier than the Manhattan places we'd been the previous days. I like Brooklyn.
Church was awesome, and was perhaps the highlight of the trip, just for the happiness of being near God. We hooked up with another Kings College girl who goes to City Church, got some chinese for lunch, and picked up my car, which was still safe and sound thank you Lord. Drive into the city, waited by the curb for people to bring all the bags down, packed up the Mazda, said our good-byes, and headed out into the rest of the world.

The drive home was the low point of the trip. I had the post-trip heartache pretty bad, plus I had been around tons of very driven, accomplished people in a moving-and-shaking city, and was feeling pretty frustrated with my life. More on that later. By the time I dropped the girls off and got back to the people-less, dog-less house, I was as low as I could be. AND I had to get up at 4:15 and go to work. Dark times. So after 0 hours of sleep, 5 hours of sleep and 3 hours of sleep, I hit the sack at 2am for a brief nap, and then on with the next day. A sour taste in my mouth after a trip that was packed with a lot of cool things and experiences. I'm glad it worked out, and I still love New York City and want to go back whenever I can.

Monday, February 23, 2009

If you want to know me, listen to my songs.

Everything from well-informed, accurate--if shallow--faith back in '04:

Jesus, sacrifice
You were slain to pay the price
That should have been required of me.
Jesus, God's own Son
You're the perfect righteous One
All of Heaven bows before Thee.
Thine was the terror, and Thine the shame
Now Thine is the name above all other names

Son of God what can I say to You?
There is nothing worthy I can do
I can only stand in awe
At mercy deeper than my fall
I have no ground on which to stand,
Except upon Your nail-pierced hands.

To deep frustration at the course and nature of my life a year or so later:

And I don't understand why You made me this way
And I don't understand who I am
And I don't understand why You fill up my hand
Till every thing overflows and slips away
Slips away...

And I don't know why You've given me
So much more than I can hold
And I don't know why You keep hitting me
As I keep getting old
And I don't know why time slips away
And nothing seems to change
And I don't know how You love me just the same
Just the same...

Yet always (95% of the time) remaining in the generally happy state of my blessed life:

Building Legos, model cars
Talkin' 'bout the War of Stars,
All the ways we whiled away the time for all those years
Quoting movies, no one knew
What we meant but me and you
The humor just went right over their heads

You go a-long with what's going on
You've never been somewhere that wasn't better for you being there..

How good and how pleasant it can be
When brothers dwell in unity!
Your time at home is coming to an end
I'll miss you, my brother and my friend.

And still remaining relatively light-hearted, positive, and strange :-)

Take a cup and fill it slowly now,
Pour it with care.
Empty out the can completely now,
Nothing left in there.
Take a sip and sip it slowly now,
Savor your fare.
Open up a Dr.Pepper and happiness is there.

Then God blew into my life like a hurricane for 2 months:

Don't doubt! Trust in what you know He says
Just step out! Step out on His promises
He'll meet you - look at all the lives around!
Just trust Him. Trust Him with your life.

But I settled back into the same old valley, slowly settling deeper and deeper:

If I say I'm sorry
Will I mean it this time?
I can swear to leave it
But I'm staying behind

How can You save me if I don't want to be saved?
How can You hear me if I don't mean what I pray?
How can You love me when I've thrown it all away?
Am I lost
If I don't mean what I pray?

And always, ever, never getting away from knowing I should be doing more with my life, but not doing it, and not knowing how to:

Look at all the pathways that I could take in life
Traveling the world or marrying a wife
Staying close to home, or moving far away
Anything I wanna do is possible, they say

But I put on my boots and go to work and live another day
In the same old car, the same old smile, and the same old aimless way
If I could just see where to throw myself, I'd give it all away
But I put on my boots, and go to work, and live another day

All the comforts of home that you love
All the potential that you're dreaming of
All could be yours, or all could be naught..
But time passes by and you've only got one shot

All the songs I write and all the instruments I play
But I put on my boots, and go to work, and live another day.

So will this win out in the end? Or will the words of "On My Side" prevail?

Time after time
Time after time lookin' out the door
Time after time
Time after time what's He waiting for?
What's He waiting for?

But You were always on my si - de
You were always on my si - de
I couldn't tame You I couldn't blame You
I couldn't tame You I couldn't blame You
I couldn't trace You, I couldn't chase away Your plans for me

Three from the Sea

Three.
I see three.
Three I see.
Three I see--that's three for me.
Three for me and that's all I see.

But wait - there's more!
Do I see four??
Could there be four for me?
Four I see;
That's more than three;
But still that's not
a lot
for me.

This poem is an ode to my Shrimp flavor "Cup o' Noodles," and the dried sea critters therein.

And a tip of the hat to Dr. Seuss and Ogden Nash :-)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Doings Lately

Time for an update, so all is not lost to the vistant magues of time.

This past weekend was one of my precious "long" weekends - from getting off day shift Thursday at 6pm to starting night shift Monday at 6pm. I had been planning for awhile to go to a Mae show at Messiah Saturday night, but I decided not to, which was nice 'cause I got to be here for Mom's birthday (also Saturday).
Thursday at work ended lousily, and I didn't get to basketball till about 7:15pm. 45 minutes of bump-and-bash basketball was not at all satisfactory.

Friday I slept most of the morning away, and did some errands in the afternoon. Landed some SWEET work shirts and T-shirts at the thrift store. That evening Mom and Dad and I went out for a nice dinner, which was a Christmas present this year. We were going to go to Kaya at the Strip, but they were reservation only (Hmm. It does happen to be Friday night before Valentine's Day :-/). We ended up at Kiku - Pittsburgh's first sushi place. So good! The first time I've had octopus sashimi that was actually good.

Saturday was a nice, pleasant day in Mom's honor. We had coffee and cinnamon rolls in the morning, and I made tortilla pizzas for lunch. There was a Pitt basketball game at 4, and Daniel and Kyle got here about 6pm. We had steaks for dinner, and then sat around the family room watching the Penguins and giving Mom presents. Kyle and I stayed up and watched a little TV after everybody hit the sack, but I got pretty tired, and actually went to bed at midnight!

Sunday we had church at the Upper Saint Clair High School, due to an unavoidable using of Independence Middle School for that one Sunday of the year. I wasn't needed on tech team, so I got a full night's sleep, which was cool. There wasn't much going on after church, so I headed home and we had Wal-Mart pizza (so incredibly good!). It took some mad texting and a couple phone calls, but I finally ironed out plans for that evening. It was my night to stay up late in preparation for night shift, so I enlisted the help of Shannon and Debs, fellow night owls, so pass the time away. They came here, and then we all trekked to the Grahams' house up on Mt. Washington. Which by the way I loved. We went down to Station Square with Andrew, but there wasn't much going on there, and it was pretty cold. Definitely have to come back when it's warm and lively. Then it was all into Pepsi Blue and off down the freshly-snowed streets to Pitt, to meet up with Thomas at Fuel 'n' Fuddle. One delicious pizza and one AMAZING celtic red ale later, it was back home for some chillin', and then off our separate ways. A good night. Nice to have some snow again - I miss the whiteness when it's gone.

So that was the weekend. Nothing earth-shaking, but I think it was valuable to be with Mom on her birthday, and it was nice to see Daniel and not miss church.

One other cool thing from the weekend: I finally cracked the puzzle of how to record College Song! It's a chill, fun, Dispatch-ish song about just moving in to college, and every attempt I've made to record it has been wrong. Too sterile.. the groove is destroyed.. it doesn't fit. Well, stick your most basic mic ever (Shure SM-57) in front of you, and play guitar and sing into it at the same time. Then stick the same mic over by the guitar amp and lay down electric and bass. Then swing it back over and stick it under bongos. Bam. There you go! Yay! That's my true love in recording: Simple, natural, REAL, clever, rule-breaking, full of life and dynamics and richness. If only I had a good-sounding room to use!

Yesterday... was Tuesday. Monday, however, was cool 'cause Debs came over around 2 to watch the Pen's away game against the Islanders. I made tortilla pizzas and espressos, which were delish, but were a poor salve to the wound of our loss to the only team below us in our division :-( Arg Pens! Come on! It was also a bummer to pack up and leave at 5 when people were coming for the Pitt game that night. Ah well. I enjoyed watching the box score on my computer at work and seeing the numbers stack up for Blair and Young as Pitt stayed ahead and soundly beat #1 UConn. Woo HOO, baby!

Today I slept till 3, evaporated some time in texting and talking with Mom, and then lifted weights downstairs, which felt GREAT! I'll pay for it the next 2 days, but you gotta start somewhere. I've been creeped out by how comparatively weak I've gotten, and that ain't gonna change unless I get down there and start buffeting. Now I'm enjoying my white chocolate mocha, absorbed in the white bright world of this computer screen since Mom's got all the lights off 'cause of her migraine. I've got my nice isolating earphones in and Kraftwerk is filling my head with their beautiful, mechanical, seminal electronica. Looking ahead, Nate Dogg is coming over tonight to play bass, I might try to hit a Maxi-Saver movie, tomorrow looks like Strip District, maybe Marley and Me with Mom, and basketball in the evening. Then working nights all weekend and MISSING OUT ON JUSTIN BEING HERE! :-( :-( Hopefully we can hang out a bit Saturday afternoon. Oy. I need to meet with Mr. Pierson asap about youth camp workload distributions, and 2 weekends after this one looks like the first yickie pickie 2009 meeting, which will get youth camp stuff rolling in earnest. I also want to start the final recording of College Song (the one I was talking about was just a scratchpad recording). Hopefully I can keep the vibes of it alive. Recording by yourself is a tricky, psychological, frustrating and delicate process. Unless you were a long-experienced, well-practiced musician, which I am not.

I think I'll sign off for now. More has gone on further back than this past weekend, but I care not to extend further this post, which is already more than what I planned, and less concise than I might wish. Peace. I hope.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

cont'd

Other info from the weekend. This one deserves more detail:

Rounding up Daniel, Mike and Nick and going down to the South Side for Philly Cheesesteaks Thursday night after basketball. (Played pretty well that night, btw)

Watching "America's Next Top Dance Crew" Friday night while Daniel and Mike were at the Hetricks. Literally clapping my hands and saying "Wow!" over and over after one of the performances.

Steve arrived late Friday night. Very good to see him in Pittsburgh. It finally happened!

The glorious epitome of musical co-operation Saturday as we slugged out the drum tracks. Finally finding bass notes to play with Steve's quixotic achordal chorus. Warm wonderful bass harmonies for verse 2. That sweet sweet drum machine. Pounding toms. Oh the joy. OH THE JOY!

Tortilla pizzas Saturday afternoon. So. Incredibly. Good.

Church people Sunday. Helping on tech team and tear-down. Listening to the song in the car. Lunch at Panera. Actually got to hang out with Wes Sames, yay!

Football games, caramel latte, they win! They win!

Late night super hungry, sated with Taco Bell. Car acrobatics in the Maxi Saver and strip mall parking lots. Got a genuine feel for throwing the car around. Felt like I was actually moving my car in a macroscopic sense, not just drooling it along the road like I only ever do.
Over this past weekend I traversed the gamut of happiness.

I had a moment of exquisite joy standing at the synth, ready for Steve-O to hit record. A swell of total happiness at the song we were laying down, Steve being here, actually doing recording, having it go well, Daniel and Mike around, things going on.. everything in the world lining up just right.

Sunday I was jumping up and down and shouting in glee along with everyone else in the room as Polamalu dragged down an interception and fancy-footed his way into the endzone, sealing the deal against the Ravens. The Cardinals had won in an astounding game, the Pens had beat the Rangers in a shut-out, and all was as I would wish it could be on that day.

Later that night I had a couple moments of surreality as the heavenly sounds of Mew coursed through my car and I hurtled down the snowy parking lot, building up speed to swirl into a 180 as the night watched on in stillness.

Then Monday the reality that Daniel had left for the semester mixed in with the old familiar ache of a glorious weekend gone by, and I stood with my guitar, frustrated to an internal frenzy by other hands than mine controlling the computer, burned out on music, sad that the freshness of inspiration and cooperation were gone, tired of the song, and shadowed by the loom of cold joyless days ahead. The ache continued unabated as we finished recording, Steve packed up and left, and I dropped Mike off, late for work and alone.

If I could feel like that all the time, I think I would run like a puppy into God the Father's arms and never want to leave. But work is a numbing opiate, and my mind was blustered into business mode by the time I had reached the Tin Bath. As I knew it would, the future brightened back up, and my soul settled back into normalcy. All that remains is that lingering unsettlement - my constant companion, peeking around the corner when I let my thoughts soak down. All is not right, and this is not a game. Hell peeks around the corner, and I don't know what to do about it, or if it will be OK.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Pre and Post Christmas 2008

My last post detailed Christmas 08 with the family, in Chicago. I also did a lot with friends in Pittsburgh before and after said Midwest excursion, which would be a shame to forget and thus lose.

Before Christmas, Mom was already in Chicago--she'd been there since a week after Thanksgiving. Daniel got back I think Wednesday the 17th, I worked that day and the next, and then I was off on my long weekend, from Thursday 6pm till Monday 6pm. Daniel came home with Skipper and Chris, two guys from AEX, who stayed with us while they participated in Daniel's old roommate's wedding. Batchelor party Thursday night, Wedding Saturday. I spent a lot of time with Justin, burning the midnight oil, and making heavy use of the after-midnight diesel fuel as well :-)

I think Friday night I went over to the Harveys and Justin and I watched "The Untouchables" down in the basement. Saturday morning J and Wayne went out for lunch, and I got up and tried to figure out a good efficient plan between my to-dos and Daniel and his guys. I ended up swinging into Chick-fil-A for some food, and lo and behold! Justin and Mr. H :-) So I had lunch with Justin, and then we both headed to Cash-in Culture - the used CD and DVD store in the mall. I loaded up on music and movies, and then we split ways and I headed home.

Saturday evening the corporate mission was to watch all 3 X-men movies at the Harveys. I forget if anything else was going on, but we started out there with a bunch of people: Justin, me, Daniel and his guys, Steve Schuch, Anna, Betsy, I think Rachel, Mike, maybe Heather and Katie/Rebekah Calano, and Andrew Graham. Most folks left after #1, and everyone but Andrew was gone by the end of #2. Turns out Justin, Andrew and I had an awesome talk down in the basement, till about 4:30am. Andrew is a great guy - I'm a fan :-)

Dad and Daniel left Sunday from church, leaving me to run amuck for a couple days on my own. Justin invited me to the Harveys for the Steelers game, where I joined about 20 other peeps. I left when the game was over and went to Nate and Sarah's for a "dinner with engineers," which was a fun and classy affair. I kept inwardly shaking my head and wondering what the guys at the plant would think as we sat in the living room swirling glasses of wine and talking about biomed stuff. Sunday night my mission was to stay up late to prepare for night shift, and I FINALLY had Justin in town to do it with! He came over here, and we made mac 'n' cheese and watched Hero.

Monday and Tuesday nights I worked.. finished up Wednesday morning, drove the car to the airport, parked, made it to the gate, and flopped on the floor for a little bit of sleep. From there it was a somnolent plane flight and then I was in Chicago! And you know the story from there.
Post-Chicago, I arrived in cloudy rainy Pittsburgh at about noon, thankfully remembered where my car was parked, and headed home. Worked that night (Wednesday) and the next, and then I was off for the weekend, until Monday morning. Yay! During those two days I was working, basically everybody in Pittsburgh had been in Akron having amazing awesome times. Which was tough, and also strange, since Akron is like my city, and here's all these people there but not me.

Thursday afternoon saw Justin and most Pittsburghers, as well and Craig and Steve-O all heading to Pittsburgh. I made it through the night, slept till 3 on Friday, and then Justin called and the day began. I think there was some confusion regarding the plans, but what ended up happening was Justin, Craig, Steve and Steve Schuch came over here and we watched Rocky IV on TV. Then Heather, Erin, Anna and Rebekah Calano all came over, while most of us were jamming downstairs. They left, they returned, they toilet papered my house, they took it down, and then Katie and two friends Brenna and Debs arrived. A little later Rebekah Booher came as well, so we had a full house. There was all kinds of noise as people jammed downstairs and talked in the living room. Many folks were hungry, but my house was regrettably bereft of food since I'd been gone/working for almost 2 weeks! We ended up making eggs and scraping together enough butter packets to make macaroni and cheese. People started leaving around 11, and eventually Mikey was left on the couch, out like a 3rd strike, and I convinced Steve to stay here instead of going back to the Harveys. Turns out we had a really awesome time playing songs on my laptop, and then he got my guitar and we played through a lot of his songs, which are great and really need to be recorded. We finally went upstairs to bed, but laid there in my room talking until about 7:30. Pretty crazy.

Saturday I roused myself at 12:48pm, took a shower, and dragged Steve up around 2. We had various ideas floating around, but what I really wanted to do was hang around at the Harveys with lots of people and talk and play pool. The first step was meeting folks at Chick-fil-A for lunch: Justin, Anna, Craig, Megan, Janelle, Heather and Erin. Then we all trundled over to the thrift store and looked at clothes for awhile, eventually repairing to the Harveys, from whence to venture not again until Sunday for church. Mom, Dad and Daniel got home at 5:30pm that evening, and Daniel came to the Harveys awhile later, bringing Mike Q and Nick Schuch in tow.

The afternoon/evening proceeded pretty much as I had predicted: pool downstairs (with some occasional beating of drums and a lot of Rat Slap too), great conversation in the den upstairs, and less great conversation but good hanging out in the living room/kitchen area. Wonderful Mrs. Harvey made dinner for us all, and eventually, when the group was pared down a bit, we coagulated downstairs to watch Spinal Tap, which we had bought at the thrift store. I think just Steve, Steve, Craig, Justin and I were left for that. Very funny movie. Then came the best part of the weekend: Steve and I stayed up in the basement playing pool till about 4:30am. Craig joined in too, till his Nyquil took effect and he crashed. We just played and played, cheering not even so much to win, but just for either of us to have good shots and make them. Apparently the girls woke up at some point, 'cause Anna, Janelle and Megan came down for awhile randomly. Pretty much a great time. 'Course, I was deathly tired Sunday, but that's OK. I remember the sermon.

Sunday Justin, Craig, Steve and Janelle all left after lunch. Before that, though, we had a great big group of people at Quaker Steak 'n' Lube for lunch. Including Debs, who just moved here to intern with the Penguins as a staff writer. Like Steve Gole back in the day, she pretty much jumped right into things, and became one with the hanging out that day (and Friday night, as well). After some confusion and many rapid decision changes, Katie, Rebekah, Debs, Erin, Heather, Megan, Mike, Daniel, Nick and myself all ended up going to the Quinlisks, where we watched Hitch down in the basement. Then Debs and company made dinner for everybody, and I made espressos, lattes and noggtes. Then we went for a long walk in the graveyard in the mist and warm temperature, Mike flew his awesome new radio controlled plane, we played cards down in the basement, and at the last, Katie, Heather, Debs and I watched The Italian Job down in the basement. Somehow, I made it through the next day of work quite well, despite getting home at 2am, getting to sleep at 2:15, and waking up at 4:45. Not recommended, but I made it. And I don't regret it.

That's about it, folks. Last night (Monday night) I met up with some folks for dinner at TGI Fridays to celebrate Jess Mittelman's birthday, and we watched Office Space back at the Q's. Now I'm off for 2 days, and I actually woke up at 5am this morning since I crashed on the couch at 7:30 last night. Sleep is a wonderful thing.

Peace.

Christmas 2008

Holiday Season 2008

Christmas '08... what did I do? How was it? My 24th ever, the 4th since Grandpa's health issues started.

Well, it was in Chicago this year, and everybody was there except Ken. He was leading a tour in Africa for some New York lawyer's family. I think that's the first Christmas that he hasn't been here at all. The other big difference was that Grandpa was in a nursing home. He went back to the hospital a few days after I left from my Thanksgiving visit, due to the terrible pain in his back. Turns out it's a crushed L3 vertebrae, and there isn't a "fix." So he was in the hospital for a few days, and he's been in the rehab section of Manor Care nursing home since then. He walks a few times a day, trying to build up strength, but he's very weak, and if his back flares up, he's pretty much laid out till some morphine can take effect. So, each day was structured around who was going to see Grandpa when. I think Grandma went almost every morning, and various combinations of us would come in the afternoon and evening, usually bringing him some sort of restaurant food for dinner and/or lunch. I flew in on Christmas Eve, rolling from work to the airport to Grandma and Grandpa's. That evening we all went to the nursing home together and had our traditional Christmas Eve program in the lounge. KFC replaced a home-made dinner, but we still did some scripture readings and carol singings, and UK provided tech support to play "A Charlie Brown Christmas" from his iTouch on the little TV in the room. Interesting the places life takes you.

Christmas day we all went to see Grandpa in the morning, and did presents back home later in the afternoon. I actually had good ideas for most everybody this year, hooking Dad up with some tools, getting a gadgety new wrench for UK, Fiesta bakeware for Mom, and some Starbucks lovin' for Danmybro. And UK got me an ESPRESSO MACHINE!! Apparently he and Daniel went on quite a quest to find a good one, but this one is solid, and gets the job done. It was fun concocting espresso-based beverages from the hissing steaming machine in the basement. Nogttes were definitely the favorite. And I kinda think Grandma's washer and drier will forever smell like coffee :-P

Most days were split up with different groups at Grandpa's, eventually congregating back home around 9 or 10 for a movie. There were a couple exceptions, though. Uncle Keith got 4 standing room tickets for a Blackhawks game, so us four men went to the United Center on the 26th, Friday. That day was freakishly warm - 60+ degrees! The day before the sidewalks had been over an inch thick with ice. Yes, we had strange weather. But weather notwithstanding, there was nothing wierd about how the Hawks TORE UP the Philly Fliers! It was a great game (my first hockey game ever), and the crowd definitely was full of energy. Record size crowd, by the way, and franchise record-tying 8th win in a row.

The other more differenter day--for Dad and me at least--was Saturday. I had seen an ad in the Chicago craigslist page for a "Sound City foot pedal synth." In short, a very odd and rare analog synthesizer, but not the $2000 dollar mainstream one, but an off brand cheap one! I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity, so Dad and I headed out to Burr Ridge at noon. I ended up buying the synth after checking it out and talking him down to $275. Then the day got pretty more cooler: turns out Lagrange, where Dad grew up, was just 5 minutes down the road! So we drove there, and Dad had a crazy trip down memory lane. We drove up and down his street, took pictures of his old house, found lots of his friends houses, his grade school and junior high school, and even ate lunch at the local Taco Bell, across the street from the Arby's where he got his first real job. Pretty cool for Dad, and I really enjoyed getting to see what was once so familiar to him. On the way home we stopped at 2 music stores, and I got some great help in my search for a satisfactory overdrive pedal. Pretty cool day, and we topped it off by picking up Aurelio's for dinner. Ahhh :-)

Funny as it sounds, one of the marks of this Christmas was BLU-RAY. Uncle Keith got Grandma and Grandpa a Blu-ray player, which puts their huge HDTV to good use. And he had a slew of Blu-ray movies, which we watched pretty much every night. I don't know why, and I don't know if it's definitely a bad thing to be avoided, but watching those movies was a fun thing that sorta brought us together. And the picture was impressive, no doubts. Quite remarkable.

As always, we had a huge spread of cookies and sweets on the side table, complete with Grandma's chocolate cookies, Fannie May buttercreams and mint meltaways, and much much more. The basement fridge was well stocked with Dr.P and Diet Pepsi, with a new addition: Diet Dr.Pepper. It has fallen into much favor with the diet drinkers. I never did have corned beef hash and eggs for breakfast, and without Grandpa we couldn't do the jolly jump-ups, which are his signature breakfast creation. Mom cooked up a great pork roast for Christmas dinner, which was a great spread. Other than that, and spaghetti 2 nights ago, we kinda ate out most of the time.

The trip ended for me on Wednesday. UK, Dad, Daniel and I dragged ourselves out of bed at 6:30 in the morning and piled into the Suburban. They dropped me off at Midway Airport, and headed from there to down town, where they hung out until the afternoon Bulls game that UK had tickets for. I got checked in and securitied pretty quickly, and chilled by the gate till flight time. Didn't really sleep, just laid there. I decided to watch the ground for the whole flight, since the pilot mentioned that it was only 50 minutes of actual air time. So, I watched every foot of ground between Chicago and Pittsburgh. Except where there were clouds. And then I watched the clouds. Hard to make myself think that we had actually traveled that much distance.
Thus sorta endethed Christmas 2008, but folks still had a few days in Chicago till they left on Saturday, and I still had great times with people who were back on break in Pittsburgh. More on that later.

Christmas '08: Grandpa in the nursing home, espresso machine, Blu-Ray... good times.

December 11th

Days like today are sweet. They're days I feel pretty happy with myself. I had 3 agendas for the day: go to the strip district, meet with Mr. Pierson about Youth Camp, and make dinner. So, I got up at a quarter to 9, showered, grabbed some cashews and a Dr.Pepper, and headed out into the rainy greyness. The car rang with Christmas cheer, though, as I put together a playlist of Phil Keaggy, Keith Foley, Julie Andrews and the Canadian Brass - pretty much the top 4 all-star Christmas albums of my life. They brought back sweet and heart wrenching memories of the golden, blissful Christmasses of the past as I cruised down Carson Street.

At the strip I cruised right into a rockstar parking spot on the main drag, and started working on my missions: tortillas at Reynosa, ingredients for tomatillo salsa, goat cheese and a baguette from Penn Mac, random snacks and drinks from Hermanowski's, and fresh veggies at Stan's. I also found a new coffee shop that specializes in crepes, at which I purchased my lunch (turkey asaigo crepe - quite good, and pretty different). And of course, I had to get a couple scones at the biscotti bakery, 'cause they're ~amazing~. I was finished by 11, and made my last scuttle through the rain to the blue Mazda on the curb. Back into Christmas wonderland, this time sucking on a latte as I made my way through downtown and out to Bethel Park.

Ah, just like old times: hanging out in the church office, toting around my laptop case full of jumbled papers (but I know where everything is. ...roughly..), plugging into and out of the internet, printing docs, and sitting in the chair in Mr. Pierson's office talkin' youth camp. This was the first meeting for YC09, and we got through it in good time, with good action points and deadlines to go on. I also helped the ladies at the office dispatch some musical items in their efforts to organize the place. Jere was there, and she brought up a possible opportunity with a Christian coffee house in Homestead - just a few minutes from my home! I ended up calling the pastor who runs it right then, and we talked about his vision for the place and the musical help that he's looking for. Who knows what might come of it!

At 3:30 I headed home, dropping off Rick's compressor and nail gun on the way. "I should get the mail" flashed through my head as I pulled up to the house, but once I was in the driveway the cornocupia of bags and articles to unload had seized full reign of my mind, and the mail was forgotten. 4 trips in and out, and then relegating items to their proper resting places. Or... to the middle of the kitchen table, in the case of my laptop bag. Veggies to wash, and tomatillo salsa to make first so it'll be ready for dinner. Tomatillos, jalapenos, onions and garlic. Peel, clean, cut, de-seed, place, roast, preheat, crush, chop, saute, and then it all goes into the blender with cilantro, salt and pepper. VOILA! Amazing, moan-and-groan delicious salsa. It's a beautiful thing.

Then chop and dice and rinse and shred, and at last there's a big tub of salad, and another one of fresh veggies ready to go. By then the tilapia filets were thawed, but Dad had to leave for CGLAA at 6:30, so he ate leftovers and was out the door. It wasn't quite as fun cooking for just myself, but the fish tacos were still good. Sauteeing the tilapia and frying the corn tortillas, then quick putting it all together and trying not to squeeze everything out the back end as I chomp it down.

Cooking is pretty sweet, and right now I like it a lot. Yesterday I made teriyaki chicken and rice from scratch - even the teriyaki sauce! (Thanks to MAQ for looking up the recipe for me.) It's very cool to make good, full, healthy meals, especially doing it by the seat of my pants and coming out with something delicious.

House came on at 7, so I cooked and ate and sat and watched, and at 9 I went downstairs to play electric guitar. Ugh. I really need to change the strings on my SG. One busted, and I've been using the Telecaster since, and it just ain't the same. That SG is one SWEET guitar. I did get some great Phil Keaggy-esque volume swell stuff going, proving the DL-4's analog delay simulation to not be entirely useless. Pretty much got an idea for combining that sound with an acoustic guitar melody I've already written, to make what I hope will be a killer piece. And perhaps it will fit into my germinating scheme to create an album about the human story, starting with creation, through the fall, and to the actual redemption, since we all crave the human race being redeemed (which usually ='s it redeeming itself, in the movies). I hope I can gain enough creative and concrete momentum to get this idea off the ground, since I feel like it would be a great vehicle to use vocal harmonies, synth and electric guitar sounds, and all of that combined with acoustic guitar and full rock sets. We'll see.

The day ended off with playing a heartbreak song, a heavenache song, a sea song and a worship song on acoustic, and then writing this. The alarm will shriek at 4am tomorrow, but frighteningly, 11:55pm is pretty early for me on day shift. My teeth are brushed and flossed (despite the jarring pain in my left jaw when I move it certain ways), and I'm good to trundle Daisy upstairs, bed down under the covers, and satisfy this lurking desire to read the Bible that's been mulling around in me all evening.

Peace,

--JPB

P.S. "Your Cheatin' Heart" by Hank Williams, "A Long, Long Way From My Home" by Kaiser and Mansfield, "Leave Her Johnny, Leave Her" from Songs and Sounds of the Sea, and "King of Grace," from PDI Ministries. Keys of C, E, C and G.

Thanksgiving 2008

What did I do for Thanksgiving 2008? What was going on that fall? Say, wasn't that the last few months before I hit it big and toured the nation? :-D

Well, for Givingofthanks day I went to Chicago to be with Grandma and Grandpa while Mom, Dad, Daniel, Daisy and UK met up down in South Carolina. I took the weekend after Tday off, so I had 7 straight days off, which was great. Dragged myself out of bed Wednesday afternoon, packed up, and suffered through a few spots of holiday traffic to arrive at 10:30pm CST. Grandpa was doing pretty well when I got there, but things went downhill for a few days and he was in pretty bad pain, and really out of it until things cleared up Sunday afternoon. Before all that, he was moving around, helping Grandma make Jolly Jump-ups for breakfast, and even went to Baker's Square Friday night. Each individual thing, though, was a big deal, and he could only take 1 or 2 things a day. We did go to his first physical therapy appointment Monday, but after I left, his back has been so bad he's actually back in the hospital at the moment. Rough times now, but we had some good times while I was there.

I got to talk with Grandma a lot, which was great, and we all had a long discussion about my thoughts regarding Guardian, chemical engineering, music, and studying recording. I rented a peck of movies on Thursday, and watched one most nights after everyone retired. I also had my MicroKorg and drum machine set up on the coffee table, and would jam on those at times. Got some pretty deef jams recorded on my cell phone! Sunday I went to a Sovereign Grace-like church, which that week was sharing their service with a nearby smaller church and having a baptism afterwards. The one church was mostly white, and the guest church was mostly black, so it was a very interesting service, and really glorified Christ with the unity that they showed. Very cool churches.

I left Monday evening, heading out from fresh Aurelio's pizza and Monday Night Football countdown to traverse the long cloudy path to Akron. I rolled into Hoffmans' at 1:20am and me and Steve hung out till I fell asleep, around 3 I think. Over the next 36 hours I packed about a week's worth of action in, which made for a fun end to the whole trip. Steve and I woke up around 11, hung around the house for lunch with Scott and Philip, met up with Craig and Guitar Center, drove in my car to the dollar theater for a movie, hit a nearby mall to look for a coat for Steve, grabbed an excellent dinner at Red Robin, and went to the Manastary (house of christian college guys they all know). Jammed in Andy's room, shot some pool, and finally headed to Northside, where this SWEET guy was playing blues. Guitar, harmonica, and a mic'd box to tap his feet on, and he was good to go. I even got to play for awhile when he took a smoke break, which was sweet! Busted out some Johnny Cash and Hank Williams, and some old Leadbelly. Made me want to learn more songs (which I've done so far).

We wrapped up the night back at the Manastary, playing Mortal Kombat in the freezing living room and then watching a movie till 6am. The sun was beginning to paint the sky with light as we rolled back to the Hoffman's and bedded down in the den.

And that was about it. I got home close to 5pm, so it was tight getting dressed and ready for work, but I got there in time, and it all worked out. Definitely a good trip, very good and right to be there with G&G, and a sweet surreal time in Akron to cap it off.

What else is going on these days? My recording rig is still maddeningly on the fritz, but I just borrowed Justin's interface, 'cause it's been killing me to be unable to lay anything down. I broke a string on the black SG, and I want to find out what kind of strings the previous owner used, so it's still broke, and that's killin me as well. That guitar is so good! Mom is in Chicago again--rough times like I said--but this time she flew, so Dad and I still have Daisy. I'm off today (Wednesday) and tomorrow, and then it's the long weekend of days. Planning to go to the Strip District this morning to do some sophisticated grocery shopping :-)

Daniel is finishing up his semester, and the Grove City dynamic is changing as a lot of those folks I think are going to Dr. Duguid's church in GC now (which is cool - a great church). Ken is having amazing experience after amazing opportunity in Africa, and won't be home for Christmas (doing a private tour for some family related to the Rockefellers). Mom (when she's home) meets with lots of different ladies in the church, and continues to make marvelous, delicious and healthy food for the household. The new house plans are maybe kinda sorta on hold with all that's going on with Grandpa, and also all the projects that still need to be done/finished around this house.

I hang out with Mike Q a lot, especially on nights like this when I don't have anything the next day. It's cool to have a friend who isn't bound by regular job or school schedules. 'Course, he could use a job though :-)

I rear-ended somebody at a red light a few weeks ago (sun in my eyes), and it's been assessed, so I think tomorrow I'll be taking it in to get fixed. Still getting lousy mileage, so I'll probably have to take it to a mechanic and get it put on the diagnostic machine to see what's up. Drinkin' coffee/caffeine every working day. Still trying to gain back the weight I lost from the flu/stomach flu/food poisoning bout. Went ice skating Sunday, knees sore from that. Wanting to do the exercise bikes and get those knees into shape a bit. Listening to Christmas music, XM, and just whatever strikes my fancy. From sea shanties to Jet.

Right now it's 1:30am. I fell asleep in the basement watching TV, dragged myself up here around midnight, gathered up the garbage and took it now, got all wakey-wakey, wrote this, and now I'm going to set up and sleep out on the patio, since it's a freakishly warm 55 degrees out there.

If I think of any other bits of life these days, I'll jot 'em down here in the morning.

Light-up night
Bitter cold lately
Daisy's weight
YC09!
AEX football game?

Friday, November 14, 2008

A bit of an update

Tonight I made tomatillo salsa: oven-roasted tomatillos and jalapenos, sauteed garlic, onions and jalapenos, all blended together with some salt, pepper and lime juice. Fry up some eggs and refried beans, and you've got a plate of huevos rancheros - a Ken classic and one of my favorites. It was so good I just made another plate now! So that's 7 eggs, most of a can of refried beans, and about a cup of salsa. I'm always glad when I want to and am able to eat a bunch of hearty food like that.

The idea and ingredients for the salsa came from the Strip District, where Mom, Melanie and I went yesterday. Mel spent the day with us, which was cool. We had a great lunch at a swanky "Island cuisine" place at the strip, and for dinner we had wine, crazy cheeses, fruits and baguette. Really good stuff. Not the way I expected to spend my day off, but not a loss by any means.

I've got a story for you: Back in the day we had this tape labeled "Songs and Sounds of the Sea," and we boys would listen to it and drink in the hearty vocals and tight harmonies, all exuding the mystique of the old whaling sailing days. I tried to find a copy of that album about a month ago, but my google search showed that it was a National Geographic Society record made in the 70's, and never re-released. After a couple emails I contacted a "John Roberts" from a seafaring music website, and he said he had a CD copy of the record that he'd made. A week later, I got a package in the mail, and there it was! Turns out John Roberts is one of the artists on the album, too! So I've been eating it up, and it has fueled my taste for genuine, folk-type music. If anybody's interested, I'd be happy to hook you up with a copy of the CD. As far as I'm concerned, it is fanTAStic music and well worth investing in. There's a spark in that album that just.. ah man. I dunno :-)

Today I had some swelling poking down from the top of my mouth, back by my throat. ARG. The classic beginning sign of a cold. Dude, I've just spent the last MONTH being sick. M O N T H. First regular flu killed about 2 weeks. Then I was over it and up to Akron for a weekend, but my stomach started giving me problems, and I got dizzy a few times, and slept a bunch, and when I got home Monday I had full-blown stomach flu for 2 days. Then Thursday, when I was all better, I tried eating normally, and had a reaction to something that caused my gut to empty itself over the course of a couple hours. Like, empty. Not a good time. So I took it even slower with foods after that, and at last the next Tuesday I was back to normal. Then, a couple hours after lunch at work, the exact same rumblings started down in my gut. In a second my mind made the connection: My vitamins! I take a multivitamin, glucosamine for my crappy joints, and "chorella," which is like a concentrated green vegetable supplement. I think it's the chorella that racked me out. Anyway, I cried to God in desperation and dismay, and by His mercy (and a lot of concentrating and laying motionless in the hot end locker room), I made it out with just one puke. No more vitamins for now! :-/
So yeah - I really don't want to be sick again. We'll see. I slept a lot today. Ugh. Another day off basically wasted -- waiting for the time to pass.. drifting semi-aimlessly, sleeping if I feel tired, potsing about on the exercise bike, grabbing a guitar for a few minutes, changing the membrane on our water filter system, watching TV for a couple hours... a day almost utterly wasted. This is killing me at this moment: it's like I have no vision, but really I have no drive. No drive to buckle down and read a bunch of the Bible, or do a study, or try to fix my recording interface again, or get my butt outside and rake the leaves, or SOMETHING! People who accomplish stuff don't waste time, and I'm sitting here at the end of one of many days that I have basically wasted.

I don't think things will stay this way indefinitely, but it still kills me. It kills me not so much that I wasted the day, but that I'm not the kind of person who uses their time with purpose and drive and diligence. You don't accomplish things like writing books or recording albums or gaining experiences or moving upward in any area or profession if you don't live that way.

We'll see what God has for me to do. For now, I've gotta get up at 4:30am tomorrow and go to work.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Life in America

Blech. If I was reading this blog, I probably wouldn't read this post. But when I clicked on a yahoo news link by accident, I found an article which demonstrates my thoughts so well that I can't pass up the opportunity to succinctly state them. [And I did put a LOT of effort into writing this post well.]

It would be best to read this yourself first. But if you hate clicking links of any sort as I do, I'll sum it up:
"Microwave ovens pose a serious safety hazard to young children, a new study of scald burn injuries demonstrates."
"Hot foods or liquids from microwave ovens were the fourth leading cause of scald injuries in children under 5 years old, a review of records from the University of Chicago Burn Center shows."
Studied 140 cases. Now they're calling manufacturers to make a way to prevent little kids from opening microwaves.

My thought is that America is chasing a million improvements like this, and I feel like they all end up with the same fundamental action point: a new requirement for everyone to prevent harm to a few. Bluntly, we're trying to make life dummy-proof and risk-proof.

Many of these improvements, like alcohol thermometers instead of mercury ones, and forklifts that won't move until someone is sitting in the driver's seat, make a lot of sense, and it's a blessing that we have been able to address the accidents that brought about their development. Almost all of these improvements, like getting manufacturers to make microwaves that infants can't open, are valid and right in and of themselves.

But your average joe can't work on his own car anymore because of all the emissions and efficiency and safety systems, and how many cars have been classified as totaled because the airbags went off in a fender bender and it's too expensive to replace them? How many manufacturing jobs are no longer in America due in part to the cost of meeting the extensive and voluminous requirements for environmental and occupational safety? What is the effect on our sense of personal responsibility when "Caution, the beverage you are about to enjoy may be hot" is on every coffee cup lid? What I see from a zoomed-out perspective is a burgeoning structure of abridging the freedom and taxing the resources of the majority to prevent harm to a few. To prevent risk.

I am in an impossible situation here: these improvements, these requirements, do worthy things. It would be evil to stop putting airbags in cars just so they're easier to fix. What?? I would have workers die in accidents so companies can save some money on their Responsible Care departments? What if it was MY kid that got scalded? But along with all the good they do, there is a sum effect of these advances--the good ones, the nit-picky ones, the life-saving ones, the far-fetched ones, all of them--that is to me wearisome, sad, and damaging at a deep and subtle level.

So which would you rather have? More freedom and a healthier nation (in ways you probably don't even realize)?
Or the two (or twenty) friends that would have died by now 100 years ago?

I am content to be where and when I am. But I thought I would express this view I have--this conundrum that vexes me--since it is a frequent presence in my thoughts, and undergirds my view of everything around me.

Personally [and that's an important qualifier], I wouldn't mind trading #2 for #1. Bring on the risk and pain: let's LIVE!

--JPB

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Real Life

Ever since everybody went back to college, I've been spending the dedicated portions of my free time doing "real life" stuff, which has become the distinguishing mark of this period of time. I was originally planning on buckling down with music stuff after the summer and putting an album out there for people to listen to, but Dad had some home projects, and it was absolutely the right thing to do to help.

Coming out of summer, after my long and glorious tour of Akron, Cleveland and Grove City, Dad started tearing apart the upstairs bathroom to replace the floor tiles, and I replaced the kitchen sink. Once the new floor was in, I took up the job of painting the bathroom walls. Which got extended to include the ceiling, and lengthened by the difficulty of fully covering the original light blue color (not so "light" after all). In the midst of this, Dad was socked with buying a new van after ours got totalled by somebody tearing up the hill and smashing into it. He was also dealing with insurance people to look at the damage to our property: torn up driveway, demolished mailbox, and two mashed up tree trunks. He and Mom went down to West Virginia overnight to pick up our new minivan (White Dodge Grand Caravan, sunroof, 3.8 V6, leather seats, DVD player... pretty nice!), and despite taking an entire week off of work, he barely touched the house plans, which was his original goal for that week.

Now I'm starting on the trim for the bathroom (which looks nice, btw), the pressure's on for finishing the house drawings, and the water filter for the kitchen sink is messed up. Oh, and the sunroof on the new van is busted too. And for me, the software for my recording interfaces is shot to hell, and after a night of intense misery, I have nothing but an indeterminite period of difficulty awaiting me when I try again to fix it.

Although at this moment we're all feeling pressed down by all this stuff that keeps breaking, in general this has been a good time for me of doing real things. Something just clicked when Dad started laying out all these projects, and my mindset has been that this is what I'll do, and I'll get things done. It's satisfying to get experience and learn how to do house stuff, but above everything else, it is very gratifying to be able to help Dad in a way that's meaningful to him. To take these things off his back so he doesn't have to worry about them is a valuable contribution, and it makes me happy that I'm able to do that. It's something a 24-year-old son living at home ought to do for his father. So I'll do everything I can, and I'll come out a little more prepared for taking care of my own home, and Dad will come out with more things fixed than he would have been able to do himself.

Tomorrow I head to Lowes to scope out options for the bathroom trim. Hopefully they have good wood in stock.

Hm... there's a Chick-Fil-A at the Waterfront too... :-)

--JPB

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

New York City!

Two years ago, Nate, Katie, Sarah and I spent 4 days in Chicago, doing a lot of walking, and getting to know that majestic city. Since then we've been talking about going to New York, and last weekend--pretty much at the last minute--, that talk became reality. Katie and Rebekah pulled into Nate and Sarah's driveway at 4:45am Friday, we piled our bags into the white minivan, and the five of us headed off into the thin morning light. Off to New York City!

The trip really didn't come together for sure until a couple days earlier, when we worked out our housing arrangements and I got Monday off of work (I'm back on shifts, which respect neither holiday nor weekend). Rebekah had been vascillating, but Mr. Calano said she oughta go, and so we were five. That strengthened the "Calano Girl" contingent, which changed the dynamics of the trip from how Chicago had been. And as far as differences go, having a car and driving gave a different feel to our being in the city, and our accomodations were very different on this trip.

Our time in New York was actually shaped a lot by our housing arrangement. Nate and I stayed at the house of a family from the Sovereign Grace church in Brooklyn, and the girls stayed with their Aunt Janet at her apartment, only 10 blocks away. The logistics of getting to and from Manhattan shaped each day prominently, and gave our time in the city less of an "abiding" feel. That was fine, though, 'cause not having to pay for a hotel was a remarkable blessing, and we got to know the city in a different way. Instead of only seeing the impersonal megapolis of Manhattan's soaring buildings, we walked the streets and spent time in the comfortable brownstone houses and thick brick apartments that coat Brooklyn's earth so densely with humanity. In fact, some of the best memories that stick out in my mind are from there.

Friday we walked around Times Square and the surrounding area after arriving and finally finding parking at about 1pm. Saturday we bustled our way through Chinatown and Little Italy in the morning and early afternoon, finishing off with a little Frisbee in Central Park. The later afternoon and evening were then taken up with getting back to our separate residences in Brooklyn, freshening up, getting back together, and driving to some of the Calanos' relatives in the area. We went to Aunt Jo's apartment first for a brief call, and then hurried post-haste to Aunt Rosemary's, where a large contingent of semi-distant, highly-Italian Calano relatives were gathered, eager to see Tommy's girls and Sarah's new husband. I had heard about their Uncle Rocky, food food food, kissing on the cheek when greeting, and other aspects of the side of the family that Mr. Calano came from, and I was quite curious to see if they were exaggerated, or what.
Well, they were all true. And I had a blast! The little Brooklyn house was packed with folks, and they were all friendly, and I got to have several nice conversations and a lot of great food. The New York City urban life is quite different from my experience, and nothing could have shown me it as well as that evening.

The other "induplicable" touch of real NYC life was the apartment where the girls stayed. Their aunt Janet is a lawyer in Manhattan, and her apartment is the entire 15th floor of a building. Nate and I got to stay there Sunday night since Janet was out and we had the place to ourselves. It was a really nice place, and every window greeted you with an airy view of the city. Sunday night I spent an hour just sitting in the window well of the pool table room, soaking in the sea of lights stretching out from my perch, and listening to the breathing of the metropolis. Something about cities gets to me really deep, and that night and that apartment let me take it in like nothing else could have.

Nate and I got to see a more yuppie aspect of NYC life via the Roses, the family who very kindly hosted us Friday and Saturday nights. They were a young family with two young kids, in a small but comfortable Brooklyn apartment. Rick worked right off of Times Square, and they hadn't owned a car since moving to the city. The Sovereign Grace church (City Church) is within walking distance of their house, and so are most of its members. Rick helps on the sound team Sunday mornings, so I came early with him and helped set it up and run it for the service.

It wasn't a *New York* experience per se (other than the 3-race diversity of the 4-person worship team), but it was one of my highlights from the trip. Like I said when I ran sound for Chad and Abbey's grad party a few months ago, I am rarely happier than when I'm behind the wheel of a sound system. Ooh ooh - and the bagels! Rick had mentioned the bagels they have every morning before the service, and asked if we'd had New York bagels yet. His hearty recommendation had me kind of excited, and my hopes were not disappointed when I finally had a chance go go back and grab one before the service started. Lest you think "New York bagels" is just a platitude, let me assure you: they were de-SHILL-ous! The fundamental texture and basic flavor way outclassed even the asiago cheese or cinnamon sugar of a dense, lifeless Panera bagel.
[Don't get me wrong: I still highly enjoy Panera. I'm not complaining, and I'm not ungrateful for what we have here, and neither should you be. Being made to enjoy less something over which you have no control is poison. I am solely commenting on the specialness of the New York trip.]
So yeah - Sunday morning was cool, and touching the healthy, solid ground of a Sovereign Grace church was a great anchor point for the trip.

As far as what we saw in Manhattan during the days, it was mostly the classic New York sights that don't require a large block of time or money to see. We didn't go up any buildings, didn't go out to Ellis Island or the Stat of Lib, didn't see a Broadway show, and didn't go to any museums or music venues. We did spend time and money browsing & shopping in Chinatown and Little Italy (Littaly, as I like to call it), walking around Central Park and Times Square, riding the Metro, seeing Grand Central Station, and getting food from such places as Pellegrino's, a gyro stand, Jamba Juice (Katie's favorite!), and Famous Famiglia Pizzeria. We walked the Brooklyn Bridge (absolutely stunning. And mind-blowing when you think that they built it just a few years after the Civil War!), rode the Staten Island Ferry, and walked past dresses that were worth more than our combined monthly salaries on Madison Avenue. We didn't learn about the city in a museum or catch the big hits on a bus tour, but we saw its life in progress at eye-level:
  • Two, no three, no four generator trucks humming at the curb with rivers of power cables snaking off to a giant tent dominating a block-sized park. "Pardon the inconvenience as we continue to make New York a fashion capital of the world" read the signs. Thanksgiving day fashion show, I believe.
  • Peeking over the fence into a roadwork zone, where bundles of pipes and conduits took up about as much volume as actual dirt below the pavement.
  • Orange and green caught my eye in the random block where this sushi place was supposed to be. A shorter building was tucked inbetween 500-foot giants, and the entire top area was done up in striking orange, green and white. "Permanent Indian Consulate to the United States" was engraved on a plaque in the 20-foot bronze doors that loomed above me like a mysterious gate from a Kipling story.
  • Dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens of people strewn over the sunny grass in Central Park, and walkers, runners and bikers pouring along the path as we sat on a bench and ate our toasted bagels and Jamba Juice smoothies for breakfast.
Speaking of food, here's one of my favorite stories from the trip: We subwayed back to Brooklyn late Sunday afternoon, transferred Nate and me to Janet's apartement and rested our feet for awhile, and then headed out to the bright lights of Times Square for a late dinner. We'd gotten a recommendation for a pizza joint there, but the guy was literally closing the door as we walked up. Nate asked if there was another good place that would still be open, and he pointed us to "Famous Famiglia Pizzeria" a couple blocks away. Down the street and around the corner we saw the sign, and found one of those distinctive, "non-polished" joints that seems to promise delicious food from every grody corner and chipped tabletop. It only took about 10 minutes for our 18" pepperoni to arrive steaming upon our table, and from the first bite, I knew it was good. GOOOD. Like, as good as Aurelio's in Chicago, which I have never given an equal in the 24 years that I've been going there (no overstatement). The firm cheese, the just-right thin crust, and the perfect amount of sauce that squeezed out of every bite - not too sweet, not to acidic... just perfect. 'Twas amazing.

Whellnow, on the way back Monday evening, we pulled off the turnpike at the Sideling Hill plaza as the light was fading from the Pennsylvania sky. As we pulled into our spot, I noticed the sign for the restaurants: Famiglia Pizzeria! So I got all gee-hawed up and ordered me a slice of pepperoni, happy to know that this place was really good, and I had a good dinner coming.
Bite.
Squish.
Glop.
Bleah.
The cheese was like slime, the sauce choked the pizza with tasteless tomato acid, and the whole piece sagged and slumped in my hand like a fine upstanding lad who'd had his backbone pulled out.

Here's the thing though: Yes, my dinner that night was a disappointment. But it crystallized in my mind that we had been somewhere special that night in Times Square. Oh, the turnpike one might have had the same picture of Famiglia guys tossing dough in the Macy's Day Parade hanging on its wall, but the food behind the counter was just a sad, mediocre placeholder flying under the same name. "Famous Famiglia" was started in the heart of New York City by the four Kolaj brothers, who arrived there with their mother in 1970 [ref]. Not only were we at probably one of the first locations they opened, but just a few miles away from where we sat, colossal ship yards were drawing in goods from all over the world, piping them through New York's labyrinthian conduits and out to the rest of the United States. Where could you find fresher Italian goods than right there? New York has the authenticity of true value: it's not just a tourist trap - it really is one of the shipping capitals of this hemisphere. It really was history's epicenter of immigration from everywhere across the ocean. And it really is the place to put something if you're only gonna make one of it.

We were at a special place during our trip, and from gazing at the sprawl from the window of the apartment to staring at the grafitti flashing by in the subway tunnels, from the shrimp scampi in Little Italy to the ferris wheel inside the Times Square Toys 'R' Us, from the ~noo ywok~ accent in the little Brooklyn apartment to the men playing guitar and hammered dulcimer and selling their CD in Central Park, New York City wasn't an imitation, it was the real thing. And I liked that!

Next on the list: Go there with Steve Hoffman. :-) :-)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

One Crazy Long Weekend

I tried to savor it as much as possible -- driving around in the afternoon sunshine of a Monday.. waking up at 10am on Tuesday... 5 straight days without work!


Here's the backstory: After 2 weeks on the 12-8 schedule, I was informed Friday morning that I was being put on D crew as the fill-in hot end supervisor, until a bona fide replacement can be found. 12-hour shifts on a rotating schedule, starting out on days (6am - 6pm) on Wednesday. Aha! An extra 2 days off, courtesy of my boss. AND, with the way the schedule works, I work Wednesday and Thursday, and don't have to come back till Monday night (6pm - 6am)! Except I'm taking Monday off to go to New York City!
So yeah - lotsa days off in a short space of time. Something to savor indeed.
And before the NYC trip hits, I want to jot down what I did with all those days.


Friday I slept till about 4pm, packed up and hung out with Daniel as he packed up for Grove City, and reluctantly left at 5:37pm -- 37 minutes after I planned to leave, and 97 minutes after I should have left to get to frisbee on time. Yep: a frisbee game in Akron - the kickoff to a long-overdue Ohio weekend. Even though I didn't arrive till almost 8, I still caught a lot of great frisbee action, as the sunset painted the sky light orange and the breeze was warm over the drying August grass. We hit Zack's (excellent frozen yogurt) after it was too dark to play any more and we were tired of playing while it was too dark to play any more. Then the night changed from the plan. Chad and I went to a good-bye party for Dave Davis at the Chimas, and I ended up hanging out there with Brian and Nick, Steve, Jes Arlia, Joel Putnam and some others until around 3am. Everyone would say we had a good time, but I wonder about the usefulness of a bunch of immature people lounging around talking about nothing and making each other laugh. We did go to Taco Bell, though, and that was definitely time well spent :-)


Slept till noon Saturday up in Craig and Chad's room, and wiled away the afternoon hanging out with Collin and going on a couple errands with him and Craig. Not real purposeful, but I wouldn't call it a waste. Since Steve-O had slept in from the night before, he was working late, and then going to a movie, so I shrugged my shoulders and accepted the Tuminos' invitation to come along to a birthday/anniversary gathering with their relatives. Ended up being a sweet time at a really nice house, eating some good food (yes, including corn), talking to some new and very pleasant folks, climbing saplings, and jumping a badminton net (which amazed everyone there). Craig, Chad and I left early, listened to some of my recordings on the way home, and ended up watching "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly" for the evening. Great movie! Aa-ee-aa-ee-aaahhh....


Thus endeth the chronicles of the Tumino house era of my trip. Beginneth "Smorgasbord Sunday." Woke up at the Tuminos, went to church (sans breakfast), enjoyed the Chad-led worship service and Randy Stewart-preached sermon, chatted about, double-entreed at Chipotle with Steve-O, picked up some shingles, and sat in the parking lot watching a TV show on Steve's iPod while waiting for the rain to clear up so we could finish this roof he was working on. OK, so, the rain's not clearing up. Off we go to the (old) Roberts Care Group farewell picnic, where I have a couple good conversations, grab a burger, and head off down the road following Cory Thompson's Jeep Cherokee towards Cleveland. Cutting out the details, I end up standing on the floor of the House of Blues with Craig, Cory, Steve-O and Charlie (my buddy from Pitt), waiting for Styx to hit the stage. And they hit it! And boy howdey did they hit it good :-) A dazzling and entertaining display of proficiency and experience. Maybe a little too up close and personal for a band of that style and age, but everyone basically said it was the best concert they'd ever been to. The night ended flopped upon the couch in the Hoffman's den at 2am with Brandy curled up at my feet and Steve-O getting out his schedule to discover what classes he had tomorrow and when he should get up. Ah yes.


Thus endeth the Akronian segment of my saga. Now beginneth the brief, second, Cleveland excursion. I got up as soon as I could drag myself out of bed (about 9) and drove to Charlie's place to hang out for the morning. We took a long walking tour of Case Western and got lunch at this sweet place called Tommy's (which ironically is right by the Grog Shop, where I saw State Fair play with Golinski and Shannon).


Now we enter the Grove City portion of my wanderings. However, we don't enter it easily, since my cell phone absolutely refuses to get charged, and by this point is completely dead. I called Daniel from Charlie's phone right before I left, and left a voicemail to the effect of "Hey, I'm coming... um, I don't know where your room is, or what your class schedule is.. and I don't have any way to call you again, and you don't have any way to call me... but here I come!" So we set sail to GC with a broken telegraph and no wood to make a fire for smoke signals. Fortunately the celly takes enough charge to get a text with his room location. Unfortunately, the driver is dumb and goes on the wrong highway. Fortunately, there's a Rita's where he cuts through to get back on track, and cotton candy ice is deLISHious. Daniel is asleep peacefully on the couch when we arrive.

It was interesting being at Grove City on the first day of classes, but not being a student. Lots of people greeting friends they hadn't seen in awhile, and lots of bustley class stuff. We ate dinner in the cafeteria with a few guys from AEX, and went to the hall afterwards and chilled for awhile. It's fun seeing the fun and funny things that transpire in a dorm hall, and get little pictures of people as they stop in the room for a minute. Eventually we got our butts up off the couch and went to Wal-Mart with Jess. Pretty much the classic thing to do when visiting a GCC student :-)

The rest of the night was spent in Daniel's room, with a morphing group of people occupying the room as time went by. Eventually Daniel, Tim and myself were left, talkin' about good stuff and relaxing in the light of the white mesh Christmas lights. Then people started getting back from the freshman square dance, somebody was talking in a hillbilly accent, three people returned pieces of western garb borrowed from Daniel, and EVERETT finally came in! I had been waiting to meet Daniel's roommate, and I was unprepared for how sweet he is. He seems pretty easy-going and considerate, and he's got a good streak of random humor, which will serve him well in his Daniel-roommate capacity. Definitely a good guy.

Sleep that night, wakeupfulness the next morning, lunch at Taco Bell, and off down the sun-baked highway home. I'm SO glad I got to see Daniel's setup, see some of the faces around him, and get a little feel for where he's at. His room's quite nice, with a couch and two big chairs and carpet, and there seem to be a lot of solid guys in his hall. I'm sure he'll be going over to the AEX hall a lot, and I'm looking forward to seeing Skipper and Shane and other quality dudes from there as I drop by over the semester.

Thus endeth the saga. Thanks for reading! I'm sure my next post will be even harder to keep from being too long. New York, here we come!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Be not anxious

Rest easy, world! Mothers, tuck your children back in bed and whisper words of comfort in their ears. Be at peace citizens, for watchful eyes are over the glass plant while you sleep and night embraces the land.

In other words, I'm now working midnight - 8am for a month or so :-)

I volunteered for this shift to help out as we make some changes in how the tin bath is being run. There's another guy who's working 4 - 12, so between him, myself and the daylight folks, we've got 24-hour coverage for most of the week.

So how is it?

Well, things started out rough. I couldn't make myself go to sleep Sunday evening, so by the end of my first night I'd been going 25 hours straight. Worse than that, we had a size change (going to a different width and thickness of glass ribbon) that went awry and cost us a lot of production, and seemed to be due to me failing in my purported role.

Tuesday was better, since we didn't have any size changes, and the crew that was on for most of the night was one of the best. It got even better at the end as I talked to my boss when he came in. Turns out I did OK the night before, and the focus of the problem lay elsewhere. WHEW. I had had faith going into this, which turned to despair, but God didn't let me sink. I still need him every hour of every night, because I have a lot to learn about this process, and when things start going wrong, I don't have a big pile of experience to turn to.

Wednesday I tore my to-do list UP, baby! Good to feel productive, and to be so, demonstratively.

Tonight is real quiet, and the network is having issues, so I can't do most of what I need to do. Which is why I wrote this.

I'm sleeping fitfully (meaning I'm waking up 4 or 5 times) from 9 till 4 or so. I drag at the end of the night, but when the sun comes up, the day shift comes on, and the world wakes up, I get all perky again. Although I'm getting more sleep than before, it's not as deep. I ain't fooled by no shade over no window, bubba -- it's light outside and I know it!

Good: I still have evenings free, which is when other earthlings are typically free and foraging about for hang outage.
Bad: No more sleeping out on the deck. In fact, no more sleeping at night at all, which I find myself lamenting.
Good: The plant is peaceful, and I'm by myself at my desk.
Bad: Dismissing myself from whatever's going on at 11pm and going off, not to close my eyes in slumber, but to work a full workday. This was hard last night at the GROW picnic: saying my good-byes in the middle of everybody sharing what God had done over the summer.. leaving that rich group of people circled around the campfire, the warmth of fellowship and the glow of the firelight. It was also hard tonight, when I had to quick lay down my last idea for the bass line and shut the studio down in the middle of a spurt of jubilant inspiration on a new song. Oww my most of me! :-/
Good: Change, stretching, growth. God. God's presence. Which I need to remember and listen to more. But which is comforting nonetheless.

Time to go see how the tin bath is doing.

--JPB