A new feeling

I miss home.

That sounds simple and stupid, but for me it's not.
I've been travelling since some time in high school when I took David Altrogge up on his offer to "come visit sometime." These trips have come thick and fast since I finished my Christmas album on Mike Hoffman's tape rig and got started with the band Pure Boss in Akron, Ohio. Four weekends in a month doesn't seem like near enough, and I find myself missing sometimes half of the Sundays at home. And never giving it a thought. I love going places and seeing people and getting to do different things and do things differently.

For the most part this tenure in Maryland has been like that so far. I kept forgetting it was longer than a weekend as I packed for it. I have greatly enjoyed getting to do new, cool things and meet a host of new faces. Starting afresh--completely different than my life at home--has proven as beneficial as I had imagined.

But today I kept feeling myself tugging to go home this weekend. I didn't know why, but it was really strong, and I really wanted to go back to Pittsburgh!
I finally sat down to reason this thing out, since I was genuinely unclear on what to do.

The best way I can describe it is that there's nowhere warm here. The townhouse is great, but my room is pretty stark, and the rest of it isn't "mine." The church building and interior is very sleek and modern, meaning it's not very personal; not a warm place. It's not bad, but it's cool. On another level, no one here really knows me. I've been pretty quick at establishing fun, comfortable acquaintances with everyone I'm around, but there's no one I talk to at the level where we really know and understand and accept each other.
There's nowhere warm to rest myself in.

I can only think that this is what people mean when they talk about missing someone or somewhere. I imagine it's what people feel who move to new places and don't know anybody there.

It took me by surprise, but now that I've figured it out, I'm staying here. I'm staying, determined to push past the small-talk/humor veneer I so easily create, and try to get to know folks. Press past the normal level of relationship and seek for the true fellowship that's possible because Jesus Christ has saved me and these people that I'm around. Invest; ask; go beyond; initiate; reach out. Then and only then, if God blesses my efforts, will I get beyond this adrift state and make real relationships out here. And maybe, just maybe, a corner of that part of my heart which yearns for warmth and friendship will find itself satisfied in Jesus Christ, my Brother and present companion. That would be a great thing.