This is how time goes by

Every day begins the same: I wake up at 7am (or 6:30 if I have to take a shower), dress, pack food, and leave too long after 7:30 to feel comfortable. I roll into work about 8, and don't leave until 5 or 5:30 most days. That part is always the same. Now to look back and answer the question "What happens to all these days??"

Here is the recent past and upcoming future:

• Wednesday and Thursday (2 weeks ago) - worked night shift, 6pm to 6am. Got up at 3:30pm both days, hit Chick-Fil-A for... "meal".. (brunchinner?) and quiet time, and went to work. Great days. Other than the mad back pain. The night is MY TIME baby!
• Friday - I planned to go to Grove City for the night, but the timing wasn't working out, and my back was getting impossible to ignore or "push through." So I laid around and rested and wasted time. Bleah.
• Saturday - College Night. Which takes up basically the whole day by the time I sleep in, get some food, shower, and pack up what I'm bringing. Wrote and recorded a pretty good demo of "Hey Girls" that night.. up till 3:30am.
• Sunday - Church, then Grove City students over for a long lunch. Much-needed nap, then to the Calanos for the Super Bowl. Yay Giants!
• Monday - Doctor's appointment for my back at 3:45. Got home past dinnertime, ate some, then hit the couch with the hot rice bag, a blanket, a beagle, my good headphones, and 12GB of music. Fell asleep sometime around 9 o'clock and slept through till morning.
• Tuesday - Went to the Piersons after work for dinner and the first YC08 meeting with Mr. Pierson. Kick-off drum lesson with Mitch. Got home around 11.
• Wednesday - Dinner at home, and prayer with Mike at his place at 8:30. Something kept me from leaving on time for that, but I can't remember. Something like folding laundry. It was a fractional night.
• Thursday - Met Nate Dogg at Taco Bell for dinner, then back home to jam with him and Steve Gole.
• Friday - Erin's party! Went to the Piersons from work, showered and dressed up, hit the party, then Mikey came home with me, but we were too tired to do much. Good dancing.
• Saturday - Up at noon, which left 4 hours before Fuse after lunch was said and done. I did everything I wanted to in that time except starting to catalog my wild greasy-haired collection of recordings. I did make and pack my dinner for the night, which I was proud of. Yay for not caving in to paying for fast food! I left at 4. Lawrence Music to pick up my amp, church office for YC planning, Fuse, home, writing and demo-ing a song about the ridiculous profusion of cameras amongst teens. Bed at 3:30am.
• Sunday (today) - Drums, church, then to Lynn Noll's for a care group fellowship. It was a great time getting to know folks, and Lynn's house and pets are great. Home at 5:15. Steve Gole came for dinner, and we jammed till 10:30. Came up with a sweet 3-layer synth loop, which we played for 37 minutes straight. Poor Mom and Dad.
• Monday - Prayer here w/ Mikey and maybe Nate.
• Tuesday - YC07 review meeting at 6 with MP, Miikey Q and Katie Calano.
• Wednesday - Basketball after work. We'll see how my back's doing.
• Thursday - Looks free at the moment. Probably jam with Golinski.
• Friday - **Hopefully** leave work early and go to AKRON!! for a full weekend of recording.

And thusly flyeth by three weeks of life.

So where does the time go? Scanning the outline above, it looks like my priorities are church life and music. I also fill many hours' worth of "in-between" time with familyness. -- being down in the family room doing computer stuff, laying down on the couch, playing with Daisy, playing piano, and occasionally reading or folding laundry. It's not really *doing* anything per se, but I do not believe it is wasted time, and I do not choose to isolate myself from our family, which would be the effective result if I spent every bit of time on music (or something else). I'm also happy to have a night or two per week dedicated to jamming or recording, which has not always been the case, and which is yielding solid benefits musically.

Should I, will I, "make something of myself" musically? The prospect of making a full-fledged album of my songs is colossally daunting, and I almost fear the huge fraction of time and effort it would necessarily demand from my life. I think I will do it eventually, though, and I'd better do it before I marry and settle down (if that's God's will). I could play coffeehouses and the like, but that requires much focused practice, and I'm spending my musical time on free creativity: recording demos to get the songs in my head onto hard disk, and stretching my limits on synth and electric guitar with Steve. I consider creative generation a more mystical, uncontrollable and elusive thing than practiced performace, so I am taking every moment of the former that I can get. I feel that the latter may come down the road, depending on how my life changes in the coming years.

This "aerial view" of my time expenditure serves to clarify what I've been feeling recently: peace with my choices. The part of me that is dying to DO something--make something of myself--is subdued, and a calculation of what I would have to dispense of to fit more music or more travel in leaves me pretty happy with the balance I'm striking right now.

So, I guess I should say that I have peace right now.

!

My prayer of a month ago is answered (at the moment). Nice!

--JPB