C H I C A G O

I hate to presume upon anybody interested enough to visit here, but it's 1:40am, I'm running on a disasterous sleep deficit, and I have a cataclysmic amount of school work to be done before Friday. I wrote full journals each night in Chicago, the entirety of which is below. If you want to know what the trip was like, read on and may you find it engaging, and may you vicariously experience and enjoy some of the wonder and fun of that time. I will look this over and hopefully tighten it up later this week, but for now here's the most direct, complete and representative account of the glorious weekend in Chicago...

Oh oh oh!! I have a bunch of cell phone pictures too, which I took partially with the goal of including them in this blog. I'll do all I can to get them in here soon, and that should be SWEET.

9/21/06

So, today started out at home, sleeping in comfortably till 9:30, eating the heartiest breakfast in recent Johnian history (courtesy of the amazing Mrs. Behrens), and driving the van over to mow Complete Fitness at 10:30. What is normally a long mow became interminable, and at last, out of gas and out of trimmer line, and way out of time, I had to leave with edges still untrimmed, and basically no time to pack. But shower and pack I did, in a diligent frenzy. Katie and Sarah arrived as I was finishing, and we headed out in the Mazda not too long after our DDT* of 1:30. To the airport we drove, listening to Jars’ new album with the sweet sweet subwoofer. The flight and all went hitchlessly, except for one WOEFUL incident. Man! It’s yes, funny, but also it was really a downer. Probably a downer and a half. I had purchased a Dr.Pepper while waiting at the gate, and it had reached that perfect state of coldness and just the right amount of carbonation. It was not quite half finished, and I was enjoying it immensely. Then the dude at the end of the jetway said they wouldn’t let me take it on the plane, even though I’d bought it AFTER SECURITY inside the terminal!! So I had to give him that perfect, perfect Dr.Pepper and walk away with this literal hole in my mind and stomach where it should have been. Man, I kid you not, it was rough. But, they had Dr.P on the flight (bless you Southwest Airlines!!), so that about 85% made up for it. Arg.

So, we got to Chicago after a very short flight, got our bags, and headed for the CTA, or “El”—the train/subway system which would take us to the grand and glorious “Ohio House” hotel, our cheapest-of-the-cheap residence for the next 3 nights. The ride was good, and felt very city-like and American, as we clacked through Chicago’s odd juxtaposition of residential and industrial buildings. The big factories and warehouses and train yards and mysterious back lots and rusty equipment have always intrigued me, and riding the train was a good way to see a lot of that.

We had a bit of a walk once we got off at Grand Street, and after working out hard the day before and mowing and trimming Complete, my arms were in quite a tizzy. But I made it, and the Ohio House turned out to be a very competent, and even pleasant, cheap hotel. After getting settled in our respective rooms, Sarah, Katie and I walked about for awhile, marveling at the number of expensive restaurants around. We stopped at an Eckerd and I got some breakfasty food, and a little later we swung into a White Hen pantry, where I found WINTERGREEN SUGAR-FREE ALTOIDS!! Pretty much one of the best mints I could possibly come across. Man, the joys of a mint collection! And they’re really good, too—not so strong they burn craters in your tongue like the peppermint ones. Happy happy!

Nate Dogg Cold Six Packs To Go called to let us know he was close to the hotel (he had to get a later flight ‘cause of a meeting he was at in Philly), so we hoofed it back, got him settled in the room, and headed out to forage for dinner. We foraged our way to the ORIGINAL Unos Pizzeria, where we waited for a good while and ended up ploughing through copiously-cheesed deep-dish Chicago pizza, talking, laughing, and banging knees across the very narrow booth. It was a cool place, and the pizza was good, though my richness tolerance was soon being pushed. The Code Red Mt. Dew was great, though, and left me high (and probably really irritating) for the rest of the night.

Which we spent walking down to the lake and then wandering around SSCCCHwanky areas of downtown. SSCCCHwanky here representing Sarah’s gratuitiously-Pittsburghian pronunciation of “swanky.” The lake was cool and we walked through this awesome little park with a panoramic view of the lit-up city from a square of perfect green grass with the lake to our backs and the wind blowing at us. Then as we walked down a street inland, I took us up this stairway, thinking it would be a cool little patio thing to walk on for a bit before going back down to the ground. But it turned out that THAT was the level that the city was on! I could hardly believe it, and we spent a lot of time walking around exploring it, but a whole ton of the city around the lakefront and river is actually two levels. The lower one seems to be mostly roads and parking garages, and then the upper level, very much of which is just concrete on steel pillars, is where everybody walks and shops and drives on 8-lane roads stretching for miles. I just couldn’t believe how amazing that was (and probably tired everyone with my attempts to grapple with it)—that this whole world was elevated, that there was all this mysterious stuff beneath us, and that it had all been constructed, at who knows what cost. It’s hard to describe, but something about that removal from the pedestrian and predictable constraints of normal ground-based areas was very very intriguing, and ineffably tantalizing. I love cities for that reason, and this night, as we wandered around the levels and random nooks, fountains, benches and walkways, provided ample material for wonderment and joy. Oh, and it was AMAZING. At one point we were walking along, approaching this big crowd of people outside some restaurant. This car was parked in a little driveway sorta thing, and as we walked around it I saw the little “B” indicating that it was a Bentley…probably a two hundred thousand dollar car. Two spots down on the curb was a Ferrari, and behind that was a Porsche sport ute. We walked through the crowd, which consisted of very fine-looking folks and security people. The restaurant looked packed and very SCCHHWanky, and I marveled that we had just walked through the kind of high-brow uber-sophisticated life that you read about in magazines or see in movies. Later on we saw a tiny, wide, low Ferrari convertible glide past, circle around, and park outside a small Italian restaurant, yet another moment of the rich rich rich life happening before our eyes. I found that really cool, and I can’t quite explain why, but I loved it. It was basically an amazing time walking around, and it was almost hard because I couldn’t take it all in, and I couldn’t express or figure out why it was so titillating. But it was sweet.

At last we made it back to the hotel, and my knees were yelling pain profanities at me, so I was very glad to hit the room and get off my feet. Now I’ve finished this journal, Nate Dogg Cold Six Packs To Go is trying to sleep, and I’m jacked on Mountain Dew and Jelly Bellies and ready to watch some Strong Bad emails and Simpsons.
Woohoo!

We’re in Chicago!

*Desired Departure Time

9/22/06

Katie’s highlight was pretty much “hangin’ out with yinz guys and walking around,” which pretty much describes our day. Nate’s and Sarah’s was the walk along the lakefront in the morning, on the way to the zoo. It wasn’t a beach, it wasn’t a dock, it was just…a waterfront. A breakwater, sortof. With the big gray-blue lake on the right and the city stretching out and up to the right. Chicago has tons of apartment buildings, vs. Pittsburgh which has basically none, and that gives the downtown a different and interesting look. My highlight was knocking on the docent office door and having Grandma Kari open it! But a few minutes later I changed it to watching the gibbons swinging outside the small primates house, with long strong arms and legs, constant rolling falls and swings lacing them around the ropes and branches and cage bars. Man, it was mesmerizing (and really made me want to be a monkey). Finally, I figured that the Molé sandwich at Cosi’s for dinner was quite possibly my true highlight of the day. I just sat there in amazement trying to take in how good this food was inside my mouth. That place was way cool—very slick (“shwanky”), but not expensive, and very pleasant to be in. Egyptian rat slap while we waited for our food was sweet, too.

Sooo….what details should I fill in? I dunno. I got up at 8:33 after 3.5 snoozes, showered, and met up with the rest of the crew to hit the day. We hit Lincoln Park Zoo first, getting to walk around for awhile with Grandma and Aunt Princess, which was quite pleasantly unusual, thrown in the middle of our trip. We also walked through the conservatory, which was packed with interesting greenery (though not as cool or big as Phipps. Hah!). It was a long walk up to the LPZ area, so we were all down with idea of taking the El back to the hotel area (“The loop”). Riding the El is cool—the trains are pretty old and SO loud! You can hardly believe the roar and clatter as it crescendos in the subway tunnels. I always feel like I’m in Spiderman or something when we’re on them :-) Once back in our “home base” area we toodled around for a lunch place, and I steered us to this cool old semi-ratty Food Network-type place where we got delicious and HUGE Philly steak-type sandwiches. It was a great Chicagoey place, and was another high point of the day for me.

We decided to hit Chinatown for the second half of the day, Sarah and Katie eagerly anticipating it after the craziness of New York City’s Chinatown. It turned out to be pretty different—out from the main city, pretty open, and basically just like normal shops and services just smaller, closer together, and oriental. It was still fun, though, and I landed some sweet candy, almost bought a cool and different-looking button up shirt, and….got an avocado smoothie. Yes. Avocado, soy milk, ice, and something probably like cane syrup. I had no idea what to expect, dude, but I watched him make it, so I knew there was indeed avocado (frozen, I think) in it. It was light green, creamy and icy, and ended up tasting creamy and nutty like almonds. Every once an awhile my brain would connect that flavor with avocado, but in general it tasted like something totally different. It entertained me all the way back to downtown, and I’m very glad I got it. I’ll have to try making one at home :-)

At this point in the day we were all footsore and Nate wanted to go sit down somewhere. So we went to a big Border’s bookstore where we stayed for a couple hours while it got dark and rained out in the wide streets and concrete sidewalks. Chicago in my mind right now is basically big streets full of trigger-happy honkers who push red lights like nobody’s business, big cool-looking buildings towering over you, nice sidewalks (with the occasional potent whiff of the Chicago Sewer System), and a staggering plethora of shwanky places of business. Patrons of such businesses fill the sidewalks and drive fittingly swanky cars, and live in the unimaginably expensive (and sweet) apartments filling the city. There are just tons and tons of businesses, from little hole-in-the-wall places like our lunch spots to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse and even swankier places with BMW 7-series coupes (yes, coupe!!) parked outside. It’s very cool, and I wish my knees and hips didn’t complain so much as I walked around. But whatever.

After party peanuts and candy corn (they taste like a Baby Ruth together!) in Border’s we finally got ourselves up and out and walking sorta toward an Irish pub, or anything that appeared warm and welcoming. Cosi’s (pronounced cozy’s) fit the bill, and we had an eminently enjoyable dinner there. After eating and sitting around lazily for a long time we walked down to the river and enjoyed a way cool nook with a Vietnam War memorial fountain—one of my favorite spots in Chi-town so far. Then to the hotel for some fierce rounds of Egyptian rat slap in Nate’s and my room, some sitting around vacant-eyed, and some talking about plans for tomorrow. Now Nate has hit the sack, I did the best 30 minutes of exercising I could in the hotel room without weights (and without killing my already pitiful leg joints), and now I’ve finished this journal (yay!) and I’m listening to Audio Adrenaline. Time to scrub off my poor teeth and hit the floor for some shut-eye.

This is a fun trip. Lots of walking, and it’s not like non-stop bowl you over incredible fun, but there are many moments of experiencing the “cityness” of this giant city, and that is a shy and magnificent concept that is very intriguing to explore and touch. I pray my legs hold out OK tomorrow, and that Katie’s sinuses clear up, and that it doesn’t rain, and that we are led to great things to do and see. Who would have thought 6 years ago that I’d be independent in downtown Chicago with the awesome Calano girls and some college guy?! [I didn’t know Nate 6 years ago] Crazy the things that happen in life :-)

9/23/06

I realized at one point tonight that we haven’t done anything this entire trip besides eating, sleeping and riding that costs money. That makes for a pretty sweet trip, in a different sort of way. One could look at us sitting in bookstores, walking around streets and wandering through little parks and say we’re having a pretty lame time, but it’s been extremely low-stress, and as I was walking back to the hotel this afternoon seeing, hearing, feeling and smelling the city around me I enjoyed the sense of this metropolis that has soaked into me over the past days. The ground shook and my ears cringed as a lumbering El train rolled through overhead, I twisted to make room for two passing guys wearing “De Paul” hoodies, another Baskin Robbins/Dunkin’ Doughnuts peered at me across the corner around a support pillar, and a dirty, wet, rusty brown and red alley swung by between buildings vaulting over my head as I walked down the sidewalk under the ancient rusting tracks of the brown line. Chicago surrounded me, and I felt like I was in a movie.

Tonight we went to Navy Pier—voted the best attraction in all of Chicago, glittering with amusement park rides, variegated restaurants, the crystal garden and shwanky events—and we spent all our time there sitting at the end of the pier taking pictures and looking at the city spread before us while the storm clouds rolled out to the east leaving broken white and glowing yellow behind the city as the sun, hidden for the day, made its way down to the earth. Suited shwankies, Hollistered preppies and camerad tourists walked down the length of the pier, the lights of the city sparkled and glinted more piercingly in the graying light, and the water kept its ceaseless lapping and rippling—a quivering mirror at the feet of the gathered stalks and blocks of buildings. The Chicago skyline is very majestic looking, and I keep thinking of a powerful person laying on the land, resting his elbows on the shore of the lake, reclining on the land but ready to jerk his head up and go into action. I delighted myself for a long time taking long exposure shots of the city as the sky settled into its pinkish glow and the water glimmered a rich blue. I haven’t yet thought out why taking pictures is so thrilling, but it made that time out in front of the city many times better for me, particularly because I got to use Nate’s pro camera and use up to 15-second exposures. It was a great time, and the pictures capture the lights and glows stunningly.

We did a lot more walking today, and my hips kept grinding away like they were bone on bone. Stupid legs. Nate’s feet were sore too. We headed south in the morning, down to Grant Park, the Buckingham Fountain, and the Museum of Contemporary Photography—something Nate was interested in seeing. The tops of the tall buildings faded into the high grey clouds and the wind blew, but it wasn’t chilling, and the grey wasn’t depressing. The museum didn’t open till noon so we killed 40 minutes around the Buckingham Fountain and a nearby rose garden. We took some quality pictures around there, and saw a flock of tourists on those freaky two-wheeled personal transport thingeys that came out a couple years ago. They looked…quite funny :-) The trees around the park had borne fruit, and a cherry battle ensued, lasting until the crosswalk that took us away from the vegetation. The tall buildings loomed far off to our right, and I especially enjoyed looking at the one under construction, with the crane perched atop it crossing the sky, the spikey unfinished floors at the top, and the taken-for-granted slickness of the finished lower portions.

The Museum of Contemporary Photography (MoCP) was a nice place to be for awhile—inside, interesting, and intended for what we were doing in it. There were a couple interesting collections, and a couple that frustrated me with their utter normalcy, and over all it was a fine place, and I enjoyed getting to sit on the benches for awhile.

Coming out of the museum we headed for lunch, steered to “The Tamarind” by the girl at the museum. “The Tamarind” is “an eclectic Asian restaurant,” and it lived up to its name. And, it was swanky :-) The lunch specials were $9, which we considered a good deal compared to the $31 entrees. I got Vietnamese squid lemongrass, Katie got Japanese pancakes, Sarah got vegetable sushi (oh, the travesty!), and Nate got this awesome red curry shrimp with coconut sauce. From my first bite of tender field greens with perfect miso dressing I knew that this was a good place, and the rest of the meal proved to be delicious and of the highest quality. I really enjoyed everything, and by the end of what had appeared to be a boring plate of brown sauce, zucchini, tomatoes and unendingly chewable squid, I had grown quite attached to the perfect flavors and textures. You got your nine bucks worth, but I’m also quite happy at Mr. Johnny’s grill with a monstrous beef sandwich and a Mountain Dew. Mostly, I’m just quite happy :-)

We lounged at our window table for a long time waiting the rain out, which had finally descended in a Pittsburgh-like shower. It was a relaxing place to sit in, and I enjoyed the finery of it, knowing that everything was good quality, even down to the sleek faucets in the men’s room. When the rain let up we walked to what Google Earth listed as a giant music store where we could try out guitars and all kinds of cool stuff. It turned out to be a Barnes and Noble (had been for 2 years), so we split up—Nate heading back to the hotel for a nap, Sarah and Katie doing some shopping, and me free in Chicago with money, time, a map, and a desire to experience where I was. So…I read Calvin and Hobbes, bought some WHITE CHEDDAR Oke Doke (omg!), stopped at a Walgreens and got a Cherry-vanilla Dr.Pepper, and walked down, unwittingly, to the Sears Tower. It was sort of strange carrying this 99 cent bag of popcorn and bottle of pop with no bag or anything, not really sure where I was headed or what I wanted to do, but I rolled with it, and much enjoyed the views of the titanic Sears Tower as I approached it. It was great to sit on a bench by a fountain across from it, lay back, and just soak in its massiveness. Then I walked back to the hotel on a street that had an El line running above it, which I wrote about above. That walk was really sweet—one of the things that sticks in my head from the day.

After some down time at the hotel we headed out again, into the pelting rain, seeking Navy Pier and eventually dinner. The pier was sweet, though we did little of the normal activities there besides buying some candied almonds and a bracelet, and we ended up toughing it out dinnerless till we got back around the hotel area. Which, I realized, is pretty much the coolest place in downtown Chicago. Whereas the other posh hotels are bland highrise buildings amongst bland highrise buildings, The Ohio House sits across from a “Mega Donalds” (2-story McDonalds with a whole loungey thingey upstairs and gelatos and espresso drinks and cool crazy glass walls), several mid to upper range restaurants, and the sweet place where we ate dinner. It looked like just another restaurant from outside (reSHTaurant, as Sarah would say), but inside it was like a courtyard or something, with a second floor mezzanine and four or five food places. Man, it was like being outside, except you were inside! I really enjoyed dinner there, and I got another Italian beef sandwich (a Chicago standard), which was eminently enjoyable, if not as bursting-with-flavor as yesterday’s. I loved the feel ofthat place—around the crazy McDonalds and other lower buildings that gave you a sense of space, college students in and out, and that cool feeling of an interior made to be like outdoors.

That would have been a pretty nice way to cap off the day, but after Katie finished her fish sandwich we crossed over to the McD’s and lounged up there for several hours, eating ice-cream, sitting in deep comfort in deep comfortable chairs, and playing cards. It was the perfect place to be that night, and I just soaked in the pleasure of being there, in such a cool-looking building…that was a McDONALDS, for crying out loud, and was in CHICAGO! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Plus, I beat Katie in rat slap (after the epic game of “Up the creek down the creek”) by slapping a pair of jacks at the bitter end. Oh the glory!

So, I feel very blessed by God as I ruminate on the day’s experiences and let the writing settle them into my memory and percolate their pleasures deep down inside. I feel like I’ve gotten to see this city, which is an elusive thing, and the four of us have been able to abide together, enjoy our company, and chill.

Pleasant dreams! The city lives around me in the mysterious intrigue of night, and I lay on the floor happy, comfortable, fuzzily tired, and knowing there’s more to come tomorrow.

9/24/06

Sunday; last day in Chicago. I’m writing this journal on Tuesday because I didn’t/couldn’t take the time to write it Sunday or Monday nights. I don’t have time to write it now, but I am. It’s a good time to summarize the day and then step back and look at the trip and see what it was all about.

Sunday was a great day. As Nate said later, the trip seemed to build up and get better and better as it went on. The clouds finally broke, and though the temperature was a bit chilly, the blue skies were well worth it. I had my last apple juice-pop tart-Kashi bar breakfast and met up with everybody at 9:30. Millennium Park was the morning’s destination, having been highly and repeatedly recommended to us. I wasn’t expecting much—I mean, a pavilion, some shiny “bean” thing…big deal. But parks are nice to walk around in, you get a sweet view of the city from the lake shore, and we were carrying along a Frisbee :-) As it turns out, Millennium Park was one of the best parts of the whole weekend. We cut over east to the lake front and walked down the bike/walking trail there past a forest of boats and a jungle of highways till we reached the park. We walked through some closed garden thingeys and got to the pavilion, whereupon I proceeded to be in awe, and run out for a long pass. It was basically a huge grass field with a stage at one end and giant poles crisscrossing it like a sparse ceiling, from which speakers hung on cables. It was unexpectedly awesome—such a big expanse of verdant grass, with the majestic city behind it and these sweeping, soaring lines of grey pipe swooping high overhead, making you feel like you were inside, but not at all separated from the outside. We tossed around the disc for probably half an hour, and that whole time I just soaked in the amazingness of my surroundings. I didn’t want to leave, but it turns out there was more to come, with the much-touted “BEAN.”

The bean is pretty much that—a huge (~20 ft. long) jelly-bean-shaped shiny chrome blob set in the middle of a big patio area under the gaze of the city, with the gardens and landscape of Millennium Park in the foreground. In this world you never something that big and that perfectly shiny, so it immediately grabbed my attention as we walked towards it. We spent another 30 minutes or so basically walking around and under it, marveling, gaping at and laughing at the reflections we saw. On the concave exterior it’s like a real-life moving version of those “bubble” camera shots, with the city bulging and sweeping in a panorama wider than you could see with your eyes. Underneath the bean was a very very clever depression that led to a kaleidoscope of repeated reflections that left you squinting and trying to guess where you were in what you were seeing. We took a bunch of pictures leaning against it, looking at ourselves in it, and—in my case—jumping up against it. Probably you’ll just have to go there to understand how cool it was. Pretty much one of the most entrancing, delightful and wildly unusual things I’ve ever seen in my life.

The last things we saw at MP were these crazy video fountain things and some cool displays about cutting edge gardens around the world. I was surprised and very happy that people had come up with such truly stunning and magnificent things in this day and age—magnificent in their very design, not because of some gadget. Kind of seemed like a modern day pyramid or something—something grand and cool to look at, that sticks out in the world. I was happy for my species :-)

Around noon we had to head back to the hotel to check out. Another walk through the Chicago streets with my grinding leg joints and the typical chatter of comments on what was around us and various references to running jokes. It’s funny—looking back it feels like all our times walking around and touring stuff were comedy acts or something…most things we said ended up in a joke or a funny comment of some kind, especially on my part. In that respect it was a very unusual time, ‘cause usually I go about my days by myself or with family, where it’s more down to earth communication. I kinda wonder if I got really annoying like I was always fishing for laughs, always keeping a running commentary on the world as it passed before us. But I was aware of that danger as we went along, and tried not to blabber or joke around beyond what was natural to do and what seemed actually funny. Probably there was some of both, but hopefully I was enjoyable company, and I hope I wasn’t an annoyance to Sarah, Nate and Katie. I do know that there were a lot of funny jokes that came up, like Sarah shtrolling down the shtreet looking for a reshtaurant, and just in general being wrong in everything she said and did (versus me, of course), and me getting excited about cranes and second levels and Walgreens, and Katie struggling with her suitcases (ahh, Woody!), and Nate…just being Nate :-P I surprised myself with an ability to pick up a running joke on the fly and tie it into a string of conversation unexpectedly. I hope the other guys enjoyed those as much as I did. They laughed a lot, so I think there's a good chance. It's funny - we didn’t ever specifically talk about *spiritual stuff* like quiet times or something, but I don’t think we were shunning God from our conversation. I look back and see us pretty much reveling in the pure joy of God’s bounty and blessing and goodness in a really cool and extraordinary place. Like happy children running around the bins and shelves in God’s candy store (something everybody probably would have laughed at if I would have said it walking down the streets sometime). There is a depth and purity and peace of joy that we are able to experience as fellow Christians that I think blows away most of the happiness in a life without God, and that I’m very grateful for. This was a time of that, in a big ol’ heaping American-sized portion :-)

Back to the hotel. We checked out and left all our stuff except Nate’s work laptop in lobby by the front desk, which was in its own sweet little building outside the hotel. Then we set off again, free till six for our last explorations of Chi-town. I forget where exactly we were headed…I think roughly to the Sears Tower, but we were looking for a good lunch place, and ended up at Miller’s Pub and Restaurant, which furnished the third highlight of the day. For, you see, till now we hadn’t heard a single Chicago accent, and deep down that left a little empty hole in our city experience…a hole that was filled as soon as our waitress walked up and welcomed us. She was a good ol’ Chicago lady and she took good care of us, helping us out as we looked through the huge and appetizing menu (which ended up making things harder ‘cause there we just MORE things that sounded good that we wanted to get!), makin’ us some good salads, and workin’ things out with her boys in the kitchen :-) So we sat in our booth, ate big heaping portions of great American food, and watched Da Bearssss play on TV…a consummate Chicago experience. I even got Goose Island Honker’s Ale, a good local brew. That was a really nice time, and I’m so glad God led us to that restaurant. It was the perfect spot.

After lunch we spent some time in the blocks around the Sears Tower. Nate and I didn’t end up going up the tower, seeing as there was a 45-minute line and it cost $12, but I nevertheless got SEARS TOWER MINTS!!!! at the gift shop, and we had ample time to soak in its powerful immensity. Nate and I got some Starbucks which was delicious, Sarah and Katie took some phone calls, and I took hundreds of pictures with Nate’s camera. Heheh. He probably regretted it, but Nate Dawg Cold Six-Packs To Go asked me if I’d carry his camera for the day and I greedily assented. I could take pictures all day, especially with a pro-quality camera like Nate’s. Every angle looking down a street, every spot of glowing sunlight, every dizzying vista of towering buildings, every view and every angle had the potential to look awesome on screen. Having that camera was seriously one of the highlights of that day for me, since through it I got to vigorously experience and preserve the day and all the wondrous stuff around me. Nate’s gonna burn me a DVD of the pics, and I can’t wait to shuffle through them and find the outstanding ones, the ones that capture what we saw and how beautiful it was. Yay cameras!

That’s pretty much what we did for the afternoon – hung around the Sears tower and walked back to the hotel. The blue skies and sunshine uplifted the whole day, and I think all of us got on the outbound El feeling fully satisfied with our experience of the city. Nate agreed with me as we talked on the plane flight (in between throwing things at Sarah across the aisle): there was nothing we could think of that we wished we’d done, or that was left incomplete or missing. Another few days would have been fun, but not that much more so, and we were starting to get pretty tired (everybody but me). Even the El ride out to Midway and the time in the airport eating dinner were very pleasant (The El ride was actually stunning—we got to watch the sun set over the city, stretching before us in the glowing light like a scene from Star Wars). I remember sitting at the table eating Chinese and joking around, feeling a totally peaceful post-caffeine comfortable laid-backness, feeling Chicago around me and leaning back comfortably into the couch of the three personalities in front of me.

And that’s pretty much the trip there. We flew back, hefted our bags out to our cars in extended parking, and bid each other farewell under the night sky. I drove back home and pounded Switchfoot through the subwoofer, something I’d been looking forward to for the past 3 days. I left the window open all the way, abiding in the rush of cool air, not wanting to shut myself in to the car and end the trip. I didn’t feel sad as I shifted down the familiar streets, back in Pittsburgh again, I just sat back and let the subs pound the music into my body, basking in the fresh memories of a trip without blemish, thinking in the new mindset that now contained memories unlike any before. I think of this trip and I just think of me, Nate, Sarah and Katie lounging in the big comfy chairs up in the shwanky cool McDonald’s, looking out the glass walls at the streets and buildings and people, in the middle of the huge city as it lived on in the night, and we were part of that life.

It was a good trip :-) Unique in my experience. Old friends in a totally different setting. Mild and rich, like the latte I had this afternoon. Thank you God for such a kind kind blessing on your little children!

--Clear Ambassador

And the man seems wise

I've had several ideas for this blog. Earlier this week I was thinking about Mr. Sting. . . Mr. B Sting and his whole family of eight, and then Mr. Vee. . . Mr. Poison I. Vee who moved in when the Stings were leaving. Then on the way home tonight I was thinking about how to write about this weekend, how I wondered if the guy appreciated it when I moved over to the LEFT lane to let him pass me 'cause I figured out he was exiting in half a mile but wanted to go faster than I was, and then how I thought that maybe I wasn't that smart and considerate, and maybe I was actually dumb for not doing that right away, and how I wondered about that, and how another time I was lamenting how so many people live their lives so poorly in various ways, and I felt sad for all the thoughtless actions and missed possibilities that roll on every minute. I was thinking about how varied this weekend was, from the ride up with Kayte Bell to the ride home with a tiny spare tire doing 57 miles an hour and wincing at every bump. I was thinking about how I was feeling the end-of-trip sadness again after not feeling it for a very long time, but how it was half sadness and distaste for the dorm life I left Daniel in at Grove City. I was thinking about how the poison ivy was one of those things that's constant through a whole tumultuous weekend, and unpleasant, but not miserableifying, but also genuinely a pain and a downer and never ever going away during the whole time, but I was still quite happy and don't let this make you think I had a lousy weekend.

I think those were mostly the thoughts I had, and I'll stop there because I'm starting to come up with new thoughts now, and the point of this is to say that I'm NOT going to write out the weekend tonight because it's 12:30 and though I would be quite happy and satisfied to have the blog post written, I just can't stick another late late night to myself, being as I am still not 100% recovered from this nagging cold, and realizing as I am more and more that one must tame the wildness of ideas with the responsibilities of life. (hence the title of this post)

That paragraph was--unintentionally--one sentence!
My whole right arm is on fire with ye olde poison ivy.

"All the good monsters rattle their chains
And dance around the open flames
They make a lot of empty noise."
--"Good Monsters," from Good Monsters by Jars of Clay

As I said to Jonathan upstairs,

'nite dude!

--Clear Ambassador

Kennywood!

Today I had to pick the greater of two goods. There was a church picnic with Danmybro and other sweet people, but there was also an invitation from the Caldwells to go with them to Terry's company picnic at Kennywood. As I'm sure you've guessed from the title of this post, I chose Kennywood. Church picnics are sweet, and after the service I sorta wished I'd chosen that, but I haven't been to Kwood in years, and I tend to shun that which I'm not familiar with, so I went for the adventure. And it paid off, 'cause we had a SWEET time!

I played bass at church, which meant that I didn't have to leave till 8 o'clock, which was a boon. Playing bass was lovely. On such songs as "On My Side" and "Roll Me Over" I have been learning smidgens of what true bass playing is, and those smidgens have been intoxicating (well, not quite, but they were SWEET). It was great to put those into practice and play with Tim (who's playing basically every week now, and getting the feel of it). Nate's cool. Then sermon (I found my notebook AND remembered to bring it, so I took notes!), final song, diddling till they put a CD on, talking, changing quick, and heading out to Kennywood.

The Trib had the big huge pavilion and we were a bit early, so we sat down right by the awaiting food tables and partook of the FREE POP FOUNTAINS (ooh, such a dream of my childhood) till feeding time. The double burger was all I could ask for in a double burger. It was one of those nice times with folks where you have enough time that you can both catch up on each others' lives and just talk about whatever comes up.

Soon after finishing, Katie and I were itching to hit the rides, so we departed and left Mr. and Mrs. C to their boring adulthood :-P The lines all looked hideously long, so we settled for the racer, and it ended up being not too bad. As we clacked up the ramp and rocketed down the track I suddenly remembered how sweet rollercoasters are! It's a rush like few things provide. It's funny - I kept having this picture in my mind...amusement parks with all these people standing in line and going on rides....they're basically places human creatures come to get physically shaken and jerked and wooshed around for excitement. If you imagine being a huge giant and looking down on this little city and these little creatures going and riding these little machines and staggering away from them laughing and breathing hard, it's kind of funny :-)

But I was happy to be a little creature getting wooshed around. We hit the Racer, then the Thunderbold, then the Pitt Fall, and then Phantom's Revenge. The Pitt Fall was a LONNGGGGGG line (as represented by those highly effective and original repeated letters), but it was quite an experience, and Katie's favorite ride of the day. You look up as you're getting hoisted up, and that little pole seems to go up forever into the precarious blue sky. Ahhh. We both walked away from that one a little jelly-kneed. The Phantom's Revenge was my favorite - the line was wonderfully quick, and the ride was powerfully fast. I could hardly believe how fast we went down those drops and turns! Good ride! After TPR we hit the Exterminator, which was the longest line of the day. BUT, once we got inside the building I was well occupied studying the huge control panel they had up front (the schtick is it's like you're going into a blown powerplant infested with 8-foot rats). I could hardly believe it at first, but it was indeed a real control panel from a real plant. Nobody would come up with a "Methanator CW P7 High" indicator light on their own :-) [CW = Cooling Water] I felt uncannily at home around the big dirty transformers and the ancient analog control panel with big honkin' indicator lights, process diagrams and dials. There's a place exactly like that at NOVA, and it's creepy and sweet. I couldn't quite figure out what kind of plant it had been taken from. There was a methanator, then CO2 and H2S strippers, then steam stuff, and lots of diagrams I couldn't see well enough to read. Plus the stinkin' line kept moving! It was cool, though. And the ride was CRAZY. I forgot the little cars spin as you go, so that was quite a rush. Good ride :-)

After the Exterminator we met up with Mr. and Mrs. C (Shall I call them Terry and Cindy? Hmm, that sounds so crass) and Terry said we should go on the Pittsburgh Plunge. So we did (there was no line) and got soaked! It was pretty funny, though, and then of course we had to do the Phantom again to dry off. We did a spinning swing ride after that, and that was enough for Katie :-) So the C's headed out, but I hung around for awhile longer to do some more spinny rides. It was pretty strange to be by myself there, and I would have given $20 or $30 easily to have Daniel there. But I wanted to get myself whipped and flipped around some more, so I pushed through the awkwardness. Oddly enough, though, I found myself getting slightly nauseous. After doing the King Kahuna (an indescribable combination of rotating seats on the end of a giant rotating arm that freeze at certain points and flip upside-down as the arm rotates) twice in a row, I had had enough. Finally I realized it was 'cause I was hungry--I'd had no food for 7 hours. So, all you amusement park patrons out there, don't run on "E"! The drive home was rather light-headed, and the seat seriously felt like the seat on the King Kahuna.

I came home to a house long bereft of Daniel, fairly long bereft of Mom and Daisy, and newly bereft of Jonathan. Dad was finishing cutting up veggies and doing some stuff on his laptop. I dinked around on my laptop till I felt decent enough to try some watermelon. I knew I needed food, but the prospect of that was quite unappealing at the moment. After watermeloning myself and talking to Mom on the cell phone (Grandpa gets out of the hospital tomorrow!) I was ready for food, so I started like all good men do . . . with extra-virgin olive oil, a quality non-stick skillet over medium-low heat, and diced sweet vidalia onion! Then the diced red pepper and tomatoes, and some taco seasoning to make my improptu salsa-like amalgam of flavor and deliciousness. WHICH was then incorporated into my John Behrens George Foreman Grill Quesadillas of Delight! I was humbled and grateful once again to have such quality ingredients and tools laying around for me to use at my whim. It'll be rough when I have my own place. But sweet, too, in a way.

So then I sorta watching the Manning brothers battle it out while doing AIM and writing on people's walls on Facebook. I'm still not a fan of the "news feed" on Facebook that shows everybody every single little thing you've done on Facebook. I just don't like having it all laid out in print like that. There was something about looking through friends' profiles and seeing what was new and what people were writing that was fun, low-key and winsome. Now it's all eerily spelled-out and you can keep tabs on who people look at, who they write to, what they delete, on and on. Facebook is still cool, but it used to be cooler. Them dudes took a gamble, and I don't think it's working. We'll see.

Um....yeah, I'm still not really having devotions, and I'm trying not to be totally fatalistic and discouraged about that. Care group last night was good. Hebrews 10. Therefore, since Christ shed His blood to open the way, let us DRAW NEAR to God! HOLD FAST to these things, and CONSIDER how to stir each other up. Draw near. Hold fast. Consider. Especially, draw near. Like Mr. Q was saying, if we can do that, the rest falls into place. It's hopeful, too, 'cause the way is wide open, as sure as the death and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth, we just need to draw near to God. He's there to be drawn near to, no matter what has been going on for the last day or five years, and you just need to believe that and act on it, not get yourself into shape, or even "feel" like its true. It is, dude, so go on ahead.

OK, yay, I've written in my blog! I decided to ditch what has passed unchronicled and write about what I had ideas about: today.

I thought about starting a Facebook group to the effect of "I'm not informed enough or smart enough to have meaningful political opinions," in reaction to the bloated and self-important political rantings of my stupid peers. I can discuss ideologies to a small degree, I can believe, apply and act on the Bible, I can apply its principles to abstract situations in logical exercises, but I really have little or no ground to criticize or badmouth any political figures. Perhaps I'm apathetic and a terrible citizen and worthy of disdain from my politically-active and informed agemates, but I just think people and situations are too complicated to blabber about, and most of them don't affect me in ways I can (or decide to be able to) change, so it's just grasping (or shouting at) the wind. OK, there, there's my political rantings :-)

I'm happy about the coming weekends - Yellowcard concert with Daniel and Akronites, Chicago trip with Katie, Sarah and Nate, Pure Boss concert(s???), and then Steph's arrival and our visit to Grove City. Homework?? What homework? :-) :-/

Oh, I found out Friday afternoon that I have to take a hum/SS elective to graduate. And add/drop ended that day. Beautiful. So I freaked out, found History of Jazz, found it was full, talked to people, thought I could still get in and all would be well, and then found out Saturday that I couldn't get in. So now it sucks and and it's a big pain, but hopefully I'll end up in "Intro to Performance" and it won't be awkward or deleterious that I missed the first 2 weeks of class. Ugh.

I was sick this week, too, so I missed 2 days of working out. Plus I got stung eight times while mowing Al's lawn on Wednesday. Two separate yellowjacket holes, four each. They hurt for about an hour, but they have been itching like mosquito bites from hell for the past three days. The three on my right wrist were constantly forcing themselves into my consciousness all afternoon, and there's nothing to do to make it better. Oyg.

Got Jars of Clay's new album "Good Monsters." It's growing on me fast, and I already REALLY like tracks 2 and 3. Jars are fantastic.

Enough. Good-night!

--Clear Ambassador, back again

Excelent

=IF(B9<>"",IF(B8="",E7+1,E8+1),IF(AND(B7<>"",B8="",B9<>""),E7+1,""))

^ ^
The Excel formula (in cell E9) necessary to allow my Fall Fitness Challenge log sheet to continue adding up the days I have worked out even if I enter in a date which I missed. I don't know why, but I love Excel. I voluntarily did a manual least squares data fit this afternoon 'cause it seemed nice. It differed from my visual estimate by only 0.067, or 0.2%. That was all after I wailed and moaned until I saw that my linearization of the solution to the linear ordinary differential equation resultant from Newton's Law of Cooling was incorrect in its logarithm algebra. What a happy moment when the theoretical temperature-vs-time plot lined up with the actual data!

I guess the point of this is to document in what manner and degree I enjoy Excel at the moment, and how much my mind is used to thinking about math, algebra, mathematics, and the use of math to describe physical phenomena. It's like pulling teeth, but I'm starting to get my mind back into schoolwork. Rrrg.

--An Ambassador With A High Refractive Index

[For those who care (i.e. Mike), column E is the total days worked out and column B is where I enter the time, if I worked out.]

Ode to the Changing Times

Well, I think the biggest news to be journaled is that Daniel no longer lives here. I almost wrote all about it Thursday night, right after Mom and I dropped him off at Grove City. But sadness like I was feeling then is always intensified by writing about it, and I usually end up with a post that is sadder than I actually was before composing it. So instead I sat on the couch with this laptop and forayed into the sadness gripping my heart, writing it out facet by facet into couplets of a rough (Not rough like sandpaper. Rough like a bunch of upturned tacks) poem. After that I felt fine, and marveled at how the writing had completely purged the sorrow that had been twisting my chest. At that time the immediates were fine - GCC was great, Daniel's room(mate) were cool, he'd be around for Labor Day, I'd be out to visit, there were things to do at home - but any time I thought of what had just happened, that four years stretched ahead of me with no Daniel around, I got pretty downered (There's another new word, Jason). This house can seem rather lonely with I think of it with just me and my folks. Jonathan's here, but only for another month or so. Church is somewhat lonely too, without Daniel, Justin, Heather and Jess. I went to Taco Bell with Mom and Dad after church this afternoon, and then just went home. There is definitely reality to the sadness I felt, and we're still dealing with occasionally (Mom was crying as the three of us walked into Taco Bell).

BUT. There's a lot of stuff on my plate now, and the practical effects of Daniel's absence are mild in many ways because he was so busy and gone so much this summer. What, you ask, is on my plate now? Well thank you, kind stranger, for your interest in my 'umble little life! If I must, aw, sure, I'll talk about myself for awhile. (Pffft)

The battle cry of my life right now is "Take the reigns!"
I think this blog has given a picture of how much I've been freeloading and freefalling this summer. It's like...as I look over my life in the past months, there are never times where I just sit down and take stock of things, remember important things, think about what to do to fulfil my obligations and commitments, and most importantly, let God's truth and perspective speak to my self-focused life. I never seem to have my arms around my life, I just sort of hang on the the tail fin, or just let go altogether and enjoy the fall. I can't go on like that. I don't know how much I will change, and what degree of consistency, discipline and order is God's will and not my own idea of what I should be like, BUT, it has to change, and I believe it will. ("it" being my life and how I live it.)

I think part of the reason I was so lax over the summer was because there were no strong motivators for me. Everything stayed pretty much fine when I didn't have devotions. My grades weren't horrible, and I didn't care that much anyway. I could stay up till 3, sit through my class in a haze, and sleep in the library for an hour before going to work. That is changing, though. I've become increasingly aware of being incapacitated by the lack of devoted time with God, and with Daniel leaving there are several gaps I think God is calling me to fill that I am terribly unqualified to fill right now. So my prayers this evening were honestly prayers of desparation. Which God likes, so that's cool. I think I'll be doing more with the Youth-Parent Care Group now, and I want to be able to contribute something other than my black sin and selfish ambition. I also want to be a person ready to enter real life, which is approaching at the end of December when I graduate. I'm living like a dumpy college student right now, which is neither realistic, smart, nor kind to others.

I'll be taking the reigns academically, as well. Last semester was my worst ever grade-wise, with one A- and my second B+. I wasn't an "A Student" this summer--classes were just an irritating impediment to hanging out, doing music and doing nothing. Not so this semester. I had a moment where I realized that I needed to get on top of my classes; that spending a lot of time on them and really getting my mind into them (which is very difficult, time-consuming and strenuous in engineering) was not an irritating distraction, but rather it was my task for the fall. I want to finish well, so I think the "frame of normalcy" is shifting on the picture of my life. Meaning my priorities and anticipated time-usage are changing.

Another motivator for taking the reigns (besides spiritual and relational requirements and academics) is the fact that I will graduate with a degree in Chemical Engineering on December 16th, and I don't know what I will do after that. Now, being "Mr. Malesh," as Kayte called me, I am not at all worried about that. It is as silly to worry about that as it is to worry that Mom will make dinner tomorrow night. Oh man, what if there's no food! What if I have to make something! I don't have time! I don't have any ideas! There's no taco meat in the fridge!
Mom will make dinner tomorrow night, not because she has to, but because that is the job she has embraced and comitted to. She has made thousands of dinners in the past, and if she's not around to make one she'll either leave something for me or let me know I'm on my own so I'm prepared. It's the same with God, except dinner = my life and career, and he never leaves me on my own to cook something up :-)

Though I am not worried, I am aware of the many options that are floating about me and I know certainly that I need a solid investment of prayer to be able to make the right decisions. What I know now is that I am more and more convinced that I should be a teacher, not an engineer. Now, between graduating with a BS in chemical engineering and teaching *something* *somewhere* to *some* age group there lies a great gap in knowledge and expectation. So, I plan on talking to professors and seeing what the world of professorship is like and how you get there. I'm certain that God will bring things down to practical reality as needed and funnel me into His path as He has done in the past. For the time after December I can imagine taking time out from work and everything and recording my album for a semester just as well as I can imagine teaching english in Japan for a year. Perhaps I'll get an engineering job for a few years and then hit the road to a PhD so I can teach college. Perhaps a great opportunity for grad school will show up and I'll take it right away. I don't know, but honestly it's pretty cool to think that anything could happen, and that hopefully I won't be enchained to a lifelong 8-hours-a-day 5-days-a-week (and that's the bare bare minimum) job in a chemical plant.

OK, so that's pretty much the picture of my life and future that's in my mind right now. I've been listening to Chemical Brothers, and enjoyed it immensely. Daisy is across from me on the big couch, finally asleep. Mom and Dad have been taking her on walks most evenings, and now she's getting used to that and getting all chipper and active around 8 o'clock, when she used to conk out for the night. I think she misses Daniel, too. She hasn't been sleeping as much or as soundly, and keeps looking for attention.

I wonder if Daniel misses Daisy. I've been thinking of his departure from my point of view, looking at the myriad losses it brings to our everyday lives and the myriad opportunities and awesome people surrounding him at Grove City. But he's not a 22-year-old senior, he's an 18-year-old who just moved away from his home and knows only a handful of people. He's so capable, godly and wise that the thought of him having problems or being lonely or something is strange, but I wonder what it's actually like. I think for the most part he's having a blast, which is sweet. In fact, I wonder what it's like for all the folks who left. It's crazy for me to think of moving away and living in those little dorm rooms with all those strange and mildly disconcerting people around. That's why I've stepped back into AIM. Yes. I killed it in January, and now I'm bringing Frankenstien back to life. Its purpse is not to promulgate an image of myself, though, or to try to extract satisfaction from feelings of popularity or coolness, but rather to keep in touch with the people who left, and a couple who are still here. I'm not blindly signing on as soon as I bring the laptop out of sleep, and I'm trying not to sign on at all when I have something I really need to do. For me it's a lie to believe I can have it on and talk to people while still working on my lab report or writing my blog or whatever. So, just like alcohol and caffeine, use it with care and intent, and don't get addicted. And enjoy :-)

I was going to write out the specifics of last week, dropping Daniel off, work, and the day at Ohiopyle yesterday, but I'm going to wait. It's 11:50, so in 10 minutes I head downstairs to begin my conquest of Kayte the Proud in our fall fitness challenge :-D

I'll finish this off with a few select couplets from my Thursday night poem (which actually wasn't as rough as I remembered, so I put more of it in than I planned):

The way life’s been for 18 years
Will never be again
Hicks Hall is the new address
For my best friend

The second man to listen and laugh
Won’t be in the passenger’s seat
The scads of digital photographs
Won’t be of him and me

The different-sounding strings of chords
That I would never play
The clever jokes and witty words
That I would never think to say
The balance to my rashness
I wouldn’t think to need
The humble words of wisdom
That I would never see
The one to understand my jokes
And know exactly what I mean
The one to hear the ancient quotes
And laugh at them with me

My best friend lives in a cold-floored dorm room
Seventy miles away
And I’m left here with a snoring beagle
At the dawn of a lonely day

I wouldn’t ask to be a freshman
Walking the tiled halls you’re in
I’d screw it up and black the moment
With dirty pride and hungry sin
But you’re prepared
You really care
You’re a much better man than me

So, this goes out to Daniel, his new life at Grove City, and the great life we had for 18 years here at home. It's not over, but it's changed, and it's still good.

--Clear Ambassador

It's official: I'm sad now. I was ok when Rachael and Kim left--I hadn't known them for that long, though I would miss their ennervating presence at get-togethers. Then I said good-bye to Justin outside the Harvey's house Thursday night, tooting the horn as I drove away cranking the subwoofers in his honor. I wasn't really sad, and in fact when we were praying for him out on the back porch I was confident in hope and expectation for his new life at Villanova. Heather and Daniel haven't left yet, so their departure doesn't seem real. But I just looked through a bunch of pictures Daniel posted on Flickr from good-bye get-togethers last week while I was in Akron, and the weight of the separations settled in on my heart. So, yes, I'm emotionally stirred-up and I just listened to What A Night, which fits with and accentuates these feelings. But I'm glad of that. I want to feel the sadness, to grapple with the reality of these good friends' (and in Daniel's case best ever friend's) departures. Life will soon ramble on, my expectations and experiences rapidly locking in to the new norm, but for a little while here, and in scattered moments to come, I'll feel the change and gnaw once again on the irretrievable loss of what once was. You should be playing "What a Night" right now.

OK, moving on from moroseness. ... morosity? moroseillariation? . . . moving on from sadifying myself.

I have an Akron trip to report! One of my goals for my two weeks off between summer and fall semesters was to spend some relaxed time in my second home. Steve, one of my best friends on Earth, was having his grad party on Sunday, so that was a logical time to go over. But wait! Joel Rishel, a wonderful guy who has extended mounds of undeserved friendship and care to me, was getting ordained that very Sunday--a momentus event to be celebrated by a church picnic afterwards! What was I to do?

I split the day. Church and a few hours at the picnic first, then caravaning to Akron with Craig Tumino behind me, rolling in at the Hoffman's just as the line was forming for dinner :-) The ordination was well worth saying for. Mark Prater (founder and former senior pastor) was there from Philly and he, Mike and others testified to Joel's qualification for ordination, pointing fixedly at GOD'S grace that has made it possible. Then Mike and Mark led Joel in a series of ordination vows. Up till then it had been a rather formalistic-seeming ceremony. But those vows were not a formalism. I was quite sobered by them, and intensely grateful that Joel was standing there saying "I will," laying down his life and comitting the efforts of his deepest soul to care for me, and the other people in this church. At one point he vowed to follow God and care for His flock no matter what opposition or persecution might arise. That hit me, because I do not at all consider persecution of Christians an impossible or far-future possibility in America. Joel, thank you man for living the life and comitting to serve God. I wouldn't and couldn't say or do that, so I'm keenly grateful for you, and for God making you and putting you here.

The picnic was typical. I got to meet Jess and Steph's friend Michele, play frisbee, talk with Mr. Taylor, and save a girl from a spider crawling up her leg. Then the drive, spent listening to Copeland and trying to stay awake, and Steve's party. It was a good party. Relaxed, good amount of desirable food, and pretty much all the people from church there and opportune times to enjoy their company. Ultimate frisbee was fun despite the hecticity (man, I'm all into making up new words here!) of a tiny field crowded with rugrats. Link tag was also hectic and fun, and something I'd never played before. At about 10 o'clock I rode to a theater to watch Talladega Nights with the guys. It was....exactly what you'd expect from the previews. Very funny at points, and not unenjoyable, though not uplifting or virtuous. It also got me out of helping clean up the party ;-)

Stephen fortuitiously had Monday off from work, so after sleeping in we got some things done. Picked up his transcript, got him admitted at Akron U, and then went to take his Geo Tracker to Conrads (the garage where Craig works). Now begins the adventure.

Steve picked up this tracker for $500 on his way home from work one day. At first it wouldn't start, but finally it started working..if you don't count the gross coolant leak and the vanishing break power. And the engine stutter. Mr. Hoffman drove it to the warehouse at his work (he's THE airspring specialist at one of Goodyear's technical centers), but now it needed to be worked on by a mechanic, and Craig knew the hookups. So, after some debating and hesitancy, I ended up driving Stephen's convertible Geo Tracker, which happened to be without its top or its windshield wipers, down long Ohio roads in a pleasant Ohio rain shower. It ran pretty well, and I was pretty happy with the wind wipping around as I muched chips from the bag I stuffed in a gaping hole in the dashboard, but at a light two blocks from Conrad's ominious smoke began to drift from the hood. Indeed, the engine temperature gauge at cold didn't mean the engine was cold, it meant there was no coolant to measure! So, we pulled in to a Quizno's and poured water in the dry radiator from a bucket kindly lent by the helpful Quiznians. Yes, being careful of the steam which, after a few moments, shot like a hiccuping geyser from the ravaged engine. Poor Geo Tracker :-( At last it cooled down and we drove to Conrads...there to spend the rest of the afternoon talking to many people, discovering many problems, and being many confused about what was to be done, how much it would cost, and whether it was even worth lifting the hood on the thing. Finally Craig closed up, locked up, we hit Strickland's for ice-cream, and Steve and I headed home. Strange afternoon. That evening we went to see "Step Up" with the fab four (Jess, Jen, Christin and Emily). The dancing was astounding, and it left me wishing Pitt had breakdancing classes (it doesn't -- I checked).

Tuesday was a highlight day. I slept in again, through the sounds of Melody Sprague leading her girls in the week-long summer dance intensive that ran from 9 to 12 every morning. Endlessly-repeated segments of music coupled with a patiently called-out string of ballet moves and patiently-delivered critiques and exhortations ran in and out of my dreams as I slept and awoke, and at last I shifted myself upstairs to meet the day. I decided to be productive, so after some breakfast/lunch I fired up Mike's studio and wound the reel over to the unfinished recording of "Hit the Wall." The rest of the afternoon was spent in a delicious blaze of recording inspiration and accomplishment. I discovered the guitar tone this song had always needed, and laid it down solidly. Many times I pounded my fists and rejoiced up in the little bedroom as I heard the song, as a cohesive, unified whole, pound forth from Mike's big studio monitors. Immensly satisfying, and then I laid some nice solos on top of that, and Steve and I even worked on some vocals that night (till 11 o'clock). Great day, great song. Too back the vocals sucked :-P

Wednesday morning was a highlight. I drifted awake on the floor of Steven's room to the sound of the gospel song coming through the floorboards from the dance room in the basement. The peace, beauty and focus on God that brought were wonderful, and I spent most of that day basking in the sunshine outside and chilling with my man Philip. We fixed my subwoofer together, he ran to the gas station and got us flamin' hot cheetos, and we bounced each other on the trampouline till we were too hot and tired to stay outside. I didn't have to freak out about the million things I needed to to do or should have done or the hours that passed by, I just got to sit back in them and ride the day through. It kinda seems like life ought to be like that as the norm, since it is in those times that I seem to be most thoroughly experiencing--"living"--life. But the norm is gross over-requirement and a continuous stream of undone tasks and pressing needs, and to do otherwise is either impossible or lazy, it seems. Seems bleak to me, and unsettling. But perhaps it's because this is a fallen world, and it'll never be right till heaven. If so, I guess I'll have to suck it up and push on through the thicket.

Wednesday evening Steve, Philip and I played frisbee with the Tuminos, Mallinacks and Paradises. That was one of the goals of my trip, and it was a lot of fun. Afterwards we hit Zack's for ice-cream, and then went to the Mallinacks for more ice-cream and some fun games. Great night, and great folks.

Then came the final highlight. After laying around on the livingroom floor and talking and getting very sleepy, Steve and I got ourselves up and drove to the Detweilers' to pick up Steve's van for work in the morning. We swung by a McDonald's 'cause we decided we were hungry, and then we drove to the Murphy's, snuck onto their front porch, rolled out our sleeping bags and hit the sack :-) A long time ago Steve asked Mr. Murphy if it would be ok if he spent the night on his front porch. He laughed and said that would be fine, and since then we've been waiting to take him up on that. We weren't quite sure if it was just *too* weird of a thing to do, but finally I decided that everybody talks about doing crazy stuff, but nobody ever actually does it, and by george, we were gonna do it. It was intended in good fun, and I awoke to find that it had been received in good fun as well. Even Mrs. Murphy thought it was pretty funny. Richard came out with his notebook computer as we were waking up, and a few minutes later Jess came out bearing strong coffee and non-pasteurized, non-homogenized cream. We sat out on the porch for awhile chatting, and then folks had to leave to meet to the day, so we dispersed. Pretty sweet, and pretty crazy :-) And actually, it was a pretty good night's sleep.

I was thinking of heading right out Thursday morning, but when I got back to the Hoffman's I felt sleepy again, so I flopped out on the great bare floor of their unfurnished livingroom and slept for a couple hours. Then I loaded the car, said good-bye, and headed home. It had been a low-key yet very enjoyable trip.

I missed a lot in Pittsburgh while I was gone. Daniel got together with people about every night, wringing out the last sweet drops of fellowship while Justin was still around. It would have been great to hang with people till all hours of the night in the mall parking lot, so chill outside of Steak 'n' Shake, but I think Akron was the right place to be. I think Daniel probably had better times with folks by himself, and I don't think I would have added much at all to the company.

When I got back home Daniel was fast asleep and wisdom toothless. He'd gotten them out that morning, and though he snapped back remarkably fast after the surgery, he slept a lot and swelled up pretty nicely that day the following. That night I went over to the Harvey's for a last good-bye for Justin. A few people were there and we had a pleasant time sitting on the back porch talking, laughing and playing guitar. I was very glad to have that time to chill with Justin, pray for him, and say good-bye. It's weird that he's gone now.

Friday I slept in late, helped around the house a bit, started organizing my music stuff in the basement, and ended up getting swept into a series of activities that occupied the rest of the day from 3:30 on. The Quinlisks, Betsy and Nick came to visit Daniel, after which we ended up hitting the thrift store and the Maxisaver (Nacho Libre. Don't bother seeing it.) and meeting back up at Taco Bell. From whence we proceeded back to our house and watched Singin' in the Rain, a Behrens Boys childhood classic. That was very enjoyable. Every line, every scene from that movie is a classic! Gene Kelley and those folks are mad freakin' skilled, too, I tell you what. After that we lazed about the house longer making omelettes and doing computers and such, and finally folks left and I watched A Beautiful Mind for the first time. Quite a movie.

Today, or actually yesterday seeing as it's 2am, I slept again till 11am, and shortly thereafter Mom, Dad and I headed out to the Skiles' house for the first get-together of the Behrens Care Group (trumpets please). On the way I started reading the Japan guidebook I got for my birthday. It's a hike to the Skiles' house, but it was a nice property and we had plenty of space for chairs, the grill, and the volleyball net. The food was great (three things of fruit and only one back of chips!), the conversations were solid, and we had two sweet volleyball games. Most of the young singles are in this new care group, so it felt more like a church picnic or something, which was sweet. Dad led a nice time of talking and praying, sort of instating the new group, sharing some new from our lives, and praying for members. We wrapped up exactly at 4:30, right on schedule. I haven't been to Care Group much at all this year, so I don't think I'm as expectant as I could/should be for this new group. But that sure doesn't mean God doesn't have plans and my life won't be affected! We shall see.

OK, now we're current. It's super late again. Every night, man. Every night I'm up super late and crash somewhere when sleep overcomes me. Tonight I'm going to brush quick and lay out here on the family room couch. I feel like every day careens past, barely out of my control, while I don't do half of what I should. Kind of a lousy feeling, and I think it's going to get forcefully ended by this coming semester. More on that later, I'm sure. For now, it's time for sleep. Maybe I'll put some pictures in this blog tomorrow, but for now go to Flickr. There's good stuff there.

Good night folks. Life is weird. Very weird because it's not a game or practice or something to observe, it's the one life we have to life, irrevocably past and relentlessly moving on. Weird because I don't know what's going to happen, I know I'm not doing many things I could and should do, and I don't proactively care enough to do them now. Weird because I'm ok with that. Is it all going to fall apart? Am I a lazy fool, or just at peace? That's the question burning my mind these days.

--Clear Ambassador

Prophet or not?

I have two predictions. One is for the next 10 years, and one is for sometime in my expected lifespan. I am as sure of them happening as my underlying sense of the unpredictability of real life allows.

Within 10 years, the glitzy uber-rich world of hip-hop/rap (I really don't know the difference) will come crashing down like the glam days of 80's metal. The make-upped faces and massive hair of the glory days of metal bands fell at the dirty feet and torn jeans of Nirvana and the grunge movement they inspired. The hair bands and their songs were getting so indulgent and glamorous that they weren't resonating with people anymore, since real life isn't that good. The depression and angst of grunge was much closer to real life in a fallen world. [Pride-killing disclaimer: most of this is a summary of a documentary on the glory days of metal that I watched on VH-1. It makes a lot of sense to me.] I look at guys like Usher, those dudes getting grills, the 50-million dollar necklaces bought for birthdays, the massive 3-day parties...all the stuff you see on MTV and VH-1 and Rolling Stone, and I see the unreal mountaintop waiting to come crashing down. I predict that some form of gritty, simple, un-slick, un-"filthy rich playa in a white suit" form of rap will bust out from the streets, from the bottom up, and start the whole music cycle over again. I look forward to seeing what that new style will be like.

My second prediction is vaguer, longer-term, and shorter: Sometime when I'm an old guy I am certain that I will look back on this time now and tell my kids or grandkids how we could just "go to a gas station and buy a tank of gas for $50, just like that." They'll be amazed at how nonchalantly we bought and used so much gasoline, as they take for granted whatever transportation means have emerged by then. I don't expect to be driving a straight-up gasoline-powered three-ton car when I'm 60, should God favor me with such a long life. The question I'm burning to discover is WHAT will that new transportation infrastruction be? Ahhh, we'll just have to wait and see!

And lastly, as a bonus prediction, with each passing day I become more and more acquainted with and accustomed to the idea that I'll eventually become a teacher (probably college prof). I can't see myself as a good engineer, and everyone I talk to about this squints their eyes and says "Yeah, you'd make a great teacher!" I would love to be a GOOD teacher. To avoid the mistakes I've seen, and impart the learning I have been priviledged to receive from a few choice humans at Pitt. Now, how I'll GET there, well, God only knows :-)

Yours truly,

--Future Man (aka CA)

The week(end)

Good evening! I should be making my slides for the presentation tomorrow morning, but instead I figured I'd jot down the weekend (and the week preceding) before more life happens.

Last week was:
- Daniel and Dad hiking in the West
- Jonathan moving in
- Grandma and Grandpa coming here
- Mom getting degallbladdered
- ANALYTICAL CHEMISTRY FINAL
- Discovering a B+ in kinetics lab. Proof positive that I'm a slacker don't-give-a-rip senior who needs to graduate (as also evidenced by the very creation of this blog post)

- Hah! Post mis-typed is psot, which just looks really funny. Like...a scientific-sounding term for a no good vagabond or something.

The A-chem final was a big deal. That class started deceptively easily for our cocky hero, who consequently found himself fighting to learn the material while doing no homework and attending no recitations (both optional). Our hero also has an inexplicable mental block when it comes to electricity, so electrochemistry required hours of brain pounding to instill even a paltry level of workable understanding. Our hero found himself a heroic gypsy student all day Thursday--heroically roaming the Pitt campus armed with only his A-chem notes, food, an iPod, plenty of money, a car, a Starbucks giftcard, everything in his backpack, and the impending doom of a three-hour test at 6:00pm to determine if he would slip once again from his "A" pinnacle. The studying was ok, but the test was truly miserable. Especially the first hour. Our hero found himself very un-heroically considering the effect on his grade and grade point average if he skipped the final, because his brain was so knotted up and overloaded that he couldn't imagine spending three heroic hours buffeting his cpu over the test. But he had truly heroic friends praying for him, and after awhile his little brain was peaced (made at peace), and he indeed, heroically, completed the final. And unless he sucks worse than he thinks he did, he'll get a heroic "A."

Mom got surgicized Thursday morning (the reason from Grandma and Grandpa's visit). She got her gall bladder out arthroscopically (best case scenario), and according to the doc it really needed to come out. Yay! Hopefully that will fix the problems she's been having. She slept off the happy gas for a few hours and then G&G brought her home. The main thing she's been dealing with since then, besides the soreness and weirdness in her abdomen, is the knifing pain in her shoulders from air bubbles rising up through her body. They blow air in the incision to let the surgeon see and work, and the bits of that remaining end up causing some very painful days. But she's doing well, the bubbleses are gone, and she's moving about more and more easily now. Yay!

Friday was cool. I had class (the last real kinetics lecture), came home, lolled around, and then that evening went to a frisbee game that Justin invited me to. heather, Anna, Justin and the Schuch brothers were the only church people there. The others were folks from Campus Life and high school. So I got to meet some of the people Daniel has been getting to know, and we had 3 hours of mad frisbee. Everybody was tolerably to terribly good, and we played under the lights till they shut off a little after 11 (something my brain had never had to process before: being outside and it suddenly becoming utterly and impenetrably dark). The folks were great, and some of us hit up Wendy's afterwards. I was beat up, though, especially from the second game. The front of my waist, the part that get's scrunched up when you move your leg forward, was so sore that every walk back after a goal was an exploration of pain. But it was, as Jeph would put it, a glorious night.

Saturday I was RUDELY awakend at the EARLY hour of 10:30 by these two DIRTY guys barging in from SOMEWHERE out west. Bearing fine leather belts and shiny belt buckles, bedraped with authentic cowboy shirts, and bedecked with a genuine cowboy hat, Dad and Daniel made their reentry. Jonathan was gone for the weekend so that cut down on the flurry, but there were still lots of cars swimming around the driveway and streetside. Saturday evening was the senior night Youth Parent Care Group, where Daniel, Justin and Heather made their parting remarks to the group and got encouraged and prayed-for by all. I still haven't come up with an effective mental picture of life without those three living here, but soon that will become a moot point. It shall be interesting to see the reshaping of YPCG once those three pillars of leadership leave. That night we invited Justin to spend the night at our house, so Dad went home, we made a cameo at a grad party with Justin, and then we spent a couple hours laying in the bed of his pickup in the Wal-mart parking lot talking about stuff and looking at the nostars in the sky. Good time. Mmm.

I woke up this morning to the sound of the dogs barking for their breakfast. I had no idea where I was, when I had fallen asleep, what was going on, and what had gone on. Turns out I had curled up on the little couch after we got back last night, from which position I proceeded to conk out. Justin left early for setup and I left soon after to play electric guitar. Which went well. As did the service. Our hero decided to forgo caffeine, tired of leaning on it to stay awake and alive, and that ended up being a heroically good call, 'cause he felt much better throughout the day. Which consisted of church, lunch at the food court, and frisbee at Quinlisk park. It was a tough game insomuchas the humidity was stifling, compounding the 90+ degree heat, and several of us were already battered from Friday's game. But it was a great game insomuchas the players were good, not too competitive, and we made good plays. Afterwards several cars hit up Get-Go for drinks and snacks, proceeding thenceforth to the Quinlisks for hangeth outing. Our hero ended up sleeping on a couch from sheer exhaustion after his heroic efforts of the previous days.

Daniel and I brought dinner home from the Quinlisks, which we then ate, and now Daniel got his hair cut, folks are sitting outside chatting in the waning light, and I'm almost finished with a sweet and timely blog post. Bully!

One day last week--Thursday I think--I had an apricot. They were the first apricots Mom had gotten this year. I picked a ripe-feeling one, but it ended up being over-ripe. One might describe its texture as mushy. One might describe the eating experience as mish mish. YAAAAHHAHAHAAA!!! :-D True story.

Time to do, like, work and stuff, and watch pictures from the west, and get much-needed sleep before presentation practice at 8am tomorrow. Boo.

--Clear Ambassador

My Day, by John Behrens

My day starts here, in my room. Well, sometimes. Sometimes it starts on the couch downstairs, or out on the patio, or on my floor, or on the floor in the basement with headphones on. But today it started here, and it was sunny.

Then I got dressed, filled my pockets with the accoutrements of life, and looked like this.










On my way out I stopped to pet Daisy, who was sleeping on the family room couch like this. She was very very cute, and it would have been very very nice to have flopped down on the couch with her and slept instead of going to class.

But I went to class like a good slave of the system :-P

I walked out to my car parked in the driveway, unlocked the doors, and flopped my backpack on the passenger's seat. Ignition on, sub on, decide between satellite radio or CD, decide between windows or AC, emergency brake off, and roll out the driveway.


On the way I heard this song, and thought of Mike Quinlisk. It was actually a good song.







The right turn onto Dawson was mysteriously blocked, as you see here. After waiting for a few minutes and seeing no movement of the substantial bloc of cars in front of me, I turned around and went searching for another way. Why was I the only one to do that? It's an interesting question.


Anyway, I went around, and after turning right into some alley I was confronted and halted in my path by this dramatic view. The picture does it more justice than I expected. Except when I was there the cathedral looked a WHOLE lot bigger.

So, I got around the traffic and went merrily on my way, only slightly later for class than I had already been. I couldn't park here at my normal place becaue they were all taken.




So I parked here, which was up ahead and to the left in the previous picture. I was happy because these spots are likewise half an hour for a quarter.





Shut off the sub so people don't hear it and jack it when I leave, shut off the now harsh and empty- sounding stereo, cell phone in pocket, keys in hand, get quarters out of my little round mint tin holder, put the cooler bag into my backpack, get out, hoist backpack up onto my shoulder, close the door, lament the heat that will build up as the car bakes in the sun, pop the quarters in, and start walking down this familiar and oft-traveled street towards Benedum.

I hit the button and stared at the oh-so-familiar elevators after deciding not to get all sweaty and breathless by walking up the 12 flights of 22 steps to get to the Chem E classroom.




Walk in, turn around, and hit "12" on this oh-so-familiar panel of buttons. Stare at the buttons for the 100th time as you rise up the floors.





Tuesday is normally just a brief recitation where the TA answers questions about the homework and goes over stuff from the previous one. But today Dr. Johnson decided to lecture instead. So we learned all about enzyme inhibition.

This is my champion homework partner Jenna. She spazzes out about stuff fairly frequently, gets high on coffee, gets humorously belligerent sometimes, and doesn't always know the answer, but she cares about learning and she gets stuff done in time, and that's all I can ask from a homework groupie.

Dr. Johnson is a very good teacher. So much so that many of the students mildly (or not so mildly) dislike him. He expects us to learn, and he doesn't blindly and blankly tolerate ignorance or shoddy work. He frequently expresses concern for our actual education, betterment and preparation for the real world, which as far as I can tell is genuine. It's just...his little laugh gets pretty annoying sometimes :-P

Here's the view from the elevators looking towards the classroom (on the left where it's dark) as Jenna talked with Craig about the research group meeting that was tearing her away from working on homework as I *thought* we were doing. *tsk*


This was the pleasant view to my right as I walked out of the building after taking the elevator down and finding nothing pictureworthy during the ride. The summer sun was quite nice at 11am.

When I got back home Jonathan was still around upstairs, Mom was still out after taking Ken to the airport, and Daisy was...
















Pretty much right where she was when I left :-)

I played electric guitar for a long time very loudly, and then went upstairs to help Jonathan set stuff up in my room and straighten a few things up. Then I cooked up a crumbled asiago cheese and diced red pepper omelette for lunch, which was really good--better than I expected. After lunch I did computer stuff for several hours and then went upstairs into Ken's room and did some studying for analytical chemistry on the bed up there. It was mildly productive; another slogging step towards fully grasping what I will be tested on Thursday evening.

Then I put my drumset together and played for a couple minutes before dinner. Which was good. Mom made it. She makes most meals around here. They are very healthy. It's very kind of her to make them for us!




I ended first, packed up my backpack again, and headed out again for Pitt. Two times in a day. Inefficient, perhaps, but boy is it nice to have an afternoon at home with which to live my life. I parked a few spots away from where I had been parked that morning and walked up to Chevron for 3 hours of heavily-accented analytical chemistry lecture. The thrilling powerpoint notes handout is showed at the left.

Yury Skorik is a nice prof, but he asks tons of questions during class and often they are unclear or pretty dumb - so much so that you don't answer 'cause you think it must be something more, and it's not, and it takes time and you feel dumb. But overall it's not bad.


These are 4 people from my Chem E class who are in this class. We sit together and joke together sometimes, but I'm pretty starkly outside of their circle. But I've made them laugh a few times and inspired them to jump over the little circular tables out in the lobby after I did. Drew saw me taking the picture and started to turn her head away, consequently marring her visage, whilst Eric looks on with his characteristic cool aloofness and mild passive contempt.

Dr. Skorik saw me taking this picture as he stood next to me, which was a little awkward.






This is how I looked at the end of the day, in the bathroom after class let out at 9. I need to wash my hair, and those AE pants were a size too large (I thought I was grabbing the smaller of the two pairs in the store), and I need a haircut. Arg, how I want one. But Dad's gone, and I don't mind toughing it out with a big mass of stuff up above me. At least I trimmed my beard this morning, which was getting even scragglier and dumber than normal :-) I like that youth camp shirt. One of the best T-shirts I own.

After class I laid down in the grass outside the Soldiers & Sailors Monument absorbing the lit-up darkness of night in the Pitt campus until a spray of water told me that the automatic sprinkler system had made its way to my area. Then it was on to Fuel & Fuddle to start out on the 100 beer list and try the fabled buffalo wing pizza. The food and drink were great and I recommended the USS Yorktown in Charleston, SC as a good stop for Jenna on her way back from vacation there in a couple weeks. She works at F&F, which is why I stopped by last week. It's a sweet place. Their house brew brown ale was delish. The pear cider was fake-flavored, though. BOOOO. It had nutrition facts and an ingredient list on it, which is weird.

The green blur in this pic is Jenna as she fled the scene.

And that's pretty much the end of my day. I drove back home at midnight and have been sitting here on the small couch in the family room with my laptop, hopping over to Daniel's a few times to do AIM, since arriving. I listened to movie music on the way home (Back to the Future), so I was in the mood for Star Wars. When I got tired of that I played a couple Pure Boss songs and now I'm listening to Pink Floyd, which is fitting for the mood. I'd put a picture in of my current state, but my cell phone has decided not to hook up to my laptop for utterly no apparent reason, so I'm left to work with text.

My work is done. I'm very tired, Pink Floyd is making me comfortably numb, and i have reached the end of the day, both in journal and in reality. Good night! This is my life. yay for life.

--Clear Ambassador