11:20pm and the house is dark...

20 minutes past my target bedtime. *sigh*

I washed my hands, and started loading up my toothbrush. Hearing Bing Crosby's resonating baritone on "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" coming from Daniel's room had got me thinking about what I had mentioned at dinner: I am planning on recording one Christmas song in honor of the season, to post on the web and share with folks. My mind was at work.

I want to do something acapella. Not enough time or inspiration for instruments.
I sorta already did O Holy Night, and it's arrangement wouldn't be too fresh.
Let All Mortal Flesh is a way cool song - very much fitting my current thoughts.
It could start out with a solitary voice, and have voices join with each line, building to full 4-part harmony! Nice.
[numerious recording and mixing thoughts here]
I wish I had a really good reverb unit to make the lone voices more dramatic. What I have now would sound like a distant singer in a giant metal tank :-(
It should be stark. A bunch of barbershop-type stuff would distract from the blistering words of the song.
No, I want to do it complex. It would be a shame to have the one song I record be real simple.

*mental flash of light*

I am HERE to glorify God, through my music. Simpler would serve this song better. How contrary to my musical convictions is the thought I just had! Show off my arrangement and recording skills at the expense of the meaning of the song?? My place is to make recordings that people don't necessarily notice--that convey the song, and the song's message, to people's minds, hearts and souls. I am to stand beside the microphone and let the truth pass through, not dance around in front of it.

Shame on me, and how suble and iniquitious is my sin!

Then I capped the toothpaste tube and started brushing.

Bathroom Prayer

I speak to you from the glorious "other side!"

My transport test is over. I studied for a few hours yesterday afternoon, and after wrapping up shell/integral balances (as best I could), I was finished. No more to study, and my cheat sheets were covered with every equation I could possibly need or understand. So I watched the Steelers lose painfully, munched exquisite Oke-Doke popcorn imported from Chicago, and caught up on some AIM and critical writing. A profitable and liesurely evening capped off with bed at 1am.

I awoke this morning fairly well, not dead drained tired like I was Monday morning. It was a serious letdown when the lady at Einstein's forgot to turn on the espresso machine, depriving me of my anticipated cappuccino, but my crestfallen look must have touched her, 'cause she gave me a free large coffee, which was *almost* as good. My fingers are stiff and twitchy from said beverage now, as I type this up in the 10th floor computer lab.

On the strength of that large coffee I soaked in an intense biochem class, constantly a few seconds or thoughts away from utterly losing the relentless stream of information pouring out of Dr. Koepsel's mouth. For about 30 painful seconds I did lose him, and it took some serious mental effort to not panic and to force his words to stay in my brain 'till I could again start piecing them together and understanding them. Kinda like

With my brain warmed up and my body jacked up, I entered 1221 Benedum, the fabled Frank Mosier Learning Center, 12 floors above the rain-drenched cloud-soaked landscape of concrete Oakland. We waited, we chatted, we arranged pencils and calculators, and gave each other encouraging smiles. Or despairing ones, depending on your capacity for handling stress. At last Dr. McCarthy walked in, bearing our fate in a stack of papers in his arms. He flopped one down on the desk in front of me, and Transport Phenomena Exam II had begun.

I could only do 1 of the first 3 problems. Then I knocked out the next one like an anemic engineer in a kung fu tournament. The last problem was 67% ok, and that nasty third was faked somewhat well :-) Then I took a bathroom break and gave out a quick, honest prayer in the echoing walls and tiled floor, for understanding and remembrance. I knew the answers were down in my brain...unsteady mass transport from the center of a sphere was like the face of an old friend you know, but can't remember their name.

That little prayer was answered. I came back, stepped back, thought, started writing, and lo and behold, the tricksey, neat little answer came out! I wrapped it up, figured out the second of the two problem problems, and was done with the test in an hour! Then I checked it over, fixed some bad errors, clarified some stuff, and turned it in with 30 minutes to spare.

Thank you Lord for answering the prayer of an under-studied over-stressed chemical engineer!

And thanks for the coffee, too - I know You worked through that just as powerfully as anything else :-)

--John "it's over" Behrens

Short but Sweet

Sunday, November 27th, 2005

Good evening folks! Well, Dad, Mom, Daniel and John and DAISY have all arrived safe and sound back in da 'Burgh, together again after 3 weeks & 3 days apart. It appears that this strangest of Novembers is nearly past, and with it the abnormalities it brought. Dad and Mom had a rather pleasant week in Florida, once Uncle Keith was released from the hospital (as happy to be out of there as a dog from the bathtub). They made sure to call every few days and let us know how warm it was down there :-P Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were down to 20 or so in Chicago - the coldest days of this season so far. Pittsburgh got a lot of snow, or so I hear.

Daniel and I had a great couple days with Grandma and Grandpa. They were few, and went fast, but much sweetness was packed into them. I didn't get much schoolwork done, and I didn't get a lot of catch-up sleep, but I did drink and enjoy copious amounts of Cherry-Vanilla Dr.Pepper, do lots of putzy stuff on the internet (facebook and flickr), watch a bunch of mindless sports and movies, and spend some great time with G&G. Grandpa and I sat down on Friday for an hour or two and he drew out for me the processes from the chemical plant he worked at. It was like Chemical Engineering 101: flash tanks, distillation columns, pumps, evaporators, heat exchangers....way cool stuff. It was particularly interesting to hear about the improvements he devised for the process - something I may well be doing myself in a few years.

On Friday morning I got to put my spring chicken-ness to work helping the Mom of a friend of G&G's move. Daniel and I went to Taco Bell for lunch with Grandpa on Wednesday, and determined that when he loses his hair from the chemo, he'll have Grandma sew dreadlocks into his Cubs hat :-) Either that, or he can stay bald and go for the German Colonel look. Grandpa starts his chemotherapy on Friday, and he'll have 8 sessions, 3 weeks apart. He'll lose his hair, and suffer whatever particular side effects his body generates, but in general he shouldn't be real nauseous, and after those treatments the lymphoma should be at least dormant, and at best (60% chance or so), cured. We'll be praying, and as they and we are so aware, God's grace will be there, new and strong every morning as the day brings its own challenges. Even when you're almost 80, God continues to grow you in brand new ways! Grandma and Grandpa's faith and joy through this all are a shining witness of Jesus Christ's real and transforming love and grace, and I am very proud to call them my Grandparents. What a heritage they have given to us!

Daniel and I had a HRA drive back from Chicago on Saturday. We left at 8am on the dot, and I drove for the first 4.5 hours. We played through a modern/alt rock playlist on Daniel's ipod that whole time, which was quite enjoyable. Then we had lunch and Daniel drove the rest of the way, and we listened to the BBC dramatization of "Dracula." Quite interesting, though the whole vampire concept is so hackneyed it was more funny than scary. We pulled up to the driveway with the climactic last 10 minutes still left to go! Still haven't finished it. Ah well :-( The drive was good, and it was strange to think of the dozens of times Mom drove the three of us back and forth...and now the two of us were making the drive on our own - maturing young adults. . . weird thoughts.

Mom's reunion with Daisy was joyful. Every few minutes Mom would look down and exclaim anew, "Oh, you are SO cute!" :-)

Today I played drums for worship at church, with Mr. Taylor playing acoustic bass and Mrs. Taylor playing violin - quite a sweet setup. I love the church's set! Best toms and hi-hat I've ever played. After church I grabbed a quick delicious steak quesadilla at the food court and headed to Grace Episcopal Church for the first One Voice concert of the 2005 advent season.

I've been rather discouraged with OV this semester since I haven't been able to learn the songs very solidly, and I've begrudged the time commitment. Nevertheless, the concert, at 2pm, went superbly. God's Spirit was with us, and many in the audience were really touched (not to mention everybody singing!). We enjoyed a fantastic spread of cookies and deserts in the basement, and then headed to Lisa's family's house for chillin' and dinner before leaving for the 7pm show.

I rode with Domenica and Lisa up to the second concert, which was an hour away up north. It was a nice church - nice sanctuary - and 140 people showed up! It was great to sing for such a large (and age-diverse) crowd, though it felt a little shakier than the first one. My legs were truly shot after that second hour-and-a-half of standing and holding my notebook. After another good spread of cookies we headed back home, stopping to grab a pizza at a random pizza place on the way. It was great to get to chill with Dom and Priceless and catch up with what's goin' on. Domenica is my official older sister, and it's always fun to hang with her and Lisa, the dynamic duo :-) Domenica should be moving back here from DC in February - none too soon in our opinion.

I drove home from Lisa's house, where I had left my car in the afternoon, arriving at 10:40, 14.5 hours after leaving this morning. Now it's 11:52, and I've accomplished my goal of catching up with stuff before midnight! I have made the quality decision to SCREW the homework due Monday, since I'm at about 98.5% in that class right now. This week has the appearances of a mild hell as I anticipate it in the future. In 4 days it will all be past and I will be the same, but right now I truly don't know how I will study for the beastin' test Tuesday, do Thursday's S&S homework, finish the CW discussion response with Sarah and write from scratch my CW assignment 10. Lord, help me! That's my prayer, and a good one it is, too.

Good-night.

Let all mortal flesh keep silence,
And with fear and trembling stand.
Ponder nothing earthly minded,
For with blessings in His hand,
Christ our God to Earth descending
Comes our homage to demand.

May it be so.

--Clear Ambassador

Praise the Lord, O my soul!

Listen as David exhorts you! Listen as the great king of Israel shakes you by the shoulder and speaks to you with glowing heart and dancing eyes of the great praises of His God! He can scarcely stand still as he talks. He stamps his feet and gestures his arms--"Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord from the heavens, praise Him in the heights! Praise Him all you stars of light!" It is too much - he leaves your side and jumps and spins. He leaps to His God; he lifts his face and fills the air with his song--"Praise Him all His angels! Praise Him all His hosts! Praise Him sun and moon! Praise Him you heavens of heavens!"

Listen to his words. Don't pass them through the "Bible filter" you've built up over the years. Read the great poetry of the ages, the verse of the legendary psalmist, the diamond words of one so close to the radiant glory of The One. Stare at the them. Drink them in. Submerse your mind in the praises of the Great God . . .

Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;
And His greatness is unsearchable.

Praise the Lord!
For it is good to sing praises to our God;
For it is pleasant, and praise is beautiful.
He counts the number of the stars;
He calls them all by name.

Great is our Lord, and mighty in power. His understanding is infinite.
Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving; sing praises on the harp to our God, Who covers the heavens with clouds, who prepares rain for the earth, who makes grass to grow on the mountains. He sends out His command to the earth; His word runs very swiftly. He gives snow like wool; He scatters the frost like ashes; He casts out His hail like morsels; Who can stand before His cold? He sends out His word and melts them; He causes His wind to blow, and the waters flow.

Praise the Lord!

Praise the Lord, O my soul!
Who made heaven and earth,
The sea, and all that is in them;
Who keeps truth forever.

Let David look into your eyes and call you to the High King's praises on this day of Thanksgiving:

Praise the Lord from the earth,
You great sea creatures and all the depths;
Fire and hail, snow and clouds;
Stormy wind, fulfilling His word;
Mountains and all hills;
Fruitful trees and all cedars;
Beasts and all cattle;
Creeping things and flying fowl;
Kings of the earth and all peoples;
Princes and all judges of the earth;
Both young men and maidens;
Old men and children.

Let them praise the name of the Lord,
For His name alone is exalted;
His glory is above the earth and heaven.

Praise the Lord, O my soul!

--Clear Ambassador

[All Bible quotes are excerpts from Psalms 146, 147 & 148, NKJV]

Broad Recap

Tuesday, November 22^nd, 2005

General Journeral :-)

Well, a lot has been going on recently, and I figured I’d better recap a bit so I don’t forget about this weird weird time in all of our lives.

I write from the living room of Grandma Kari and Grandpa Ken’s house in Lansing, Illinois. Mom and Dad are in Orlando with Uncle Keith. But let me back up :-)

Right at the end of Grandma Sweetie’s stay here (~3 weeks ago I think?) we found out that Grandpa Ken most likely had lymphoma. Mom and Daniel drove up to Lansing that Thursday, also to attend the funeral of “Uncle” Bob, a very close friend of G&G’s for most of their adult lives. In addition, Uncle Keith, down in Orlando, was having a knee operation. Grandpa was scheduled to fly down there on Monday to take care of UK during his post-op incapacitation. The docs nixed that plan, so G&G transferred the ticket to Mom, and she flew down to Orlando, leaving Daisy and Daniel in Lansing and Dad and I in Pittsburgh. And all this time Ken has been in Cape May, NJ, doing a hawkwatch / seawatch job there.

So, in my self-centered view of the universe, life now became Dad and I holdin’ down the fort at home with no dog, wife, mother, brother or son. Given the wonderful adaptivity of the human nature, this life soon became normal, and I was happily camped out in the family room on the hard hearth in front of the hot fire doing hard homework in the evenings. Dad did some grocery shopping and I did some cooking, and we survived in pretty good style.

Enter the blood clots. Enter them into Uncle Keith’s legs a couple days after his surgery. Enter their transit to his lungs. Enter instant admission to the hospital on what was to be a routine post-op checkup. Enter a very hard couple days for Mom and the purchase of a ticket for one Paul Behrens from Pittsburgh International to Orlando. Enter yet more fragmentation of our lives and plans :-) Enter a skinny little white boy walking into a rather big and very empty and very very quiet house late every afternoon. Enter God growing us all in new and unexpected and real-life ways through circumstances so far out of our normal lives it’s almost laughable.

So. Daniel lent his ever-accommodating and eminently abiding presence to Grandma and Grandpa, and Daisy lent her ever-warm and ever-so-soft self to comfort one and all. Mom and Dad lent their four able knees to the support of Uncle Keith, and I lent my ever-wandering mind to schoolwork and the procurement and sampling of various lagers. And to the renovation of my drum set and the entire musical setup in the basement. And to the discouraging difficulty of learning the material for One Voice, the Christian vocal ensemble I’m singing with for the advent season.

At long last I finished my stay at home, finished my classes for Tuesday, and drove to the airport for a flight to Chicago. The last class of the day was cancelled, at the big-eyed pleas of the few girls who actually showed up. Stetten’s a sucker for that :-P Thus I had time to walk down to Eckerd and procure a cherry-vanilla Dr.Pepper, and to get a little bag of assorted Jelly Bellies at the chocolate store on Forbes. Sweet. I was also able to avoid the brunt of the holiday rush hour traffic, leaving me several leisurely hours at the airport before my 6:25 flight. I was disbelieving, but it was true – the FRONT ROW window seat was open! Good times, my friend, good times. The flight went very quickly, and it ended up taking nearly as long to procure my one piece of checked baggage at the airport as it did to fly from Pittsburgh to Chicago! It was great to see G&G, and very very good to come into the familiar old house, home of a hundred deeply-ingrained childhood memories, home of some of the best people on this earth, and home containing DAISY! She sits behind me now – soft furry breathing warmness on my back as I flop in the chair and type. *sigh*

So – that’s what’s been going on. Daniel and Mom have been gone from home for I think 2 weeks and 5 days. The weekend after they left was my trip to PHC, and the weekend after that Dad was gone and I had the One Voice all-day rehearsal on Saturday. Suit and tie Sunday, lunch at the food court with Q’s and Harvs. Light-up night was that Friday! Oy – I could write a page just about that! Suffice it to say, we had a WAY too big and disjointed group, but it was still fun, but also cold and footsore, and I got to practice servant leadership, and I caught a bus home at 11:15 after quaffing a Smirnoff Ice in a bar as I waited for nearly an hour after everyone else left. How strange to be 21! The fireworks at LuN were excellent – long, varied, and visually delightful.

I have been staying up way too late every night, and it’s taking its toll on my body. My knees feel like they need some WD-40, and my left foot got some weird pinched tendon or something after standing up for singing through the concert Saturday and Sunday. I can’t take the stairs now to class – my LEFT knee gets sore on the outside side after a flight or two (my right knee always used to be the game one). I feel like my body hasn’t been able to repair itself from the rigors of life and working out. Hopefully this break can remedy that, though I have transport homework, transport Exam II studying, Critical Writing assignment, and transport lab report to work on.

Daniel and I are driving home in the minivan Saturday, and Mom and Dad are flying back the same day. We’ll all be back together, back home! I’ll believe it when I see it :-P

And though it all sounds somewhat dramatic and drastic, it has all proceeded with the exceedingly dry and pragmatic step of REAL LIFE. I wasn’t “reunited with my precious beagle after weeks without her warm presence,” I just walked in the house and petted Daisy as she barked and wagged and ran over to the door to bark at Grandma. Then I stood up and gave Daniel a hug….and I was there. Now I’m here. Nothing dramatic, I’m just here. I watched TV with Daniel for a few hours and ate some food. Saturday will roll around with its nine-hour drive across Midwest America and our reunion with our long-absent parents. Sunday will roll around with its two One Voice concerts. Monday will come with its homework and multitudinous tasks, and Tuesday will come and go, leaving in its wake the dreaded Transport exam. They are all anticipated as dramatic or dreaded or crazy events, yet when each comes it just sorta walks in the door, says hey, and then it’s over. Such is the passage of life as it plods along inexorably, slow in coming yet blusteringly fast in passing. So slip the years through our cupped hands, falling between our fingers, brushing our skin as they pass, leaving memories in our minds to relive their presence. So comes eternity.

And now, little children, abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming. […] See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. […] Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.

--1^st John 2:28 - 3:3

Patrick Henry Weekend

Yay! At long last I can post the record of my trip down to visit The Bekster at Patricky Henry Collegy. I wrote this post Monday night after the trip. Check out bexpix for some pics from Bek.

Friday, November 11th – Sunday, November 13th

Patrick Henry Visit!

A chalky wisp of mottled white;
A blotchy round fluorescent light;
A shining shape of staring bright—
The moon as day turns into night.

I cracked sunflower seeds and sucked in their potent ranch flavor, occasionally sipping the perfect Pepsi Vanilla…motoring up and down the undulating road with supreme contentment and that wonderful sense of abiding that comes as you settle into your seat and laze the steering wheel down the highway. The ceaseless rolling, roiling brown hills dipped and moved as I slipped along between them, and I thought once again what a horribly unfriendly land this was. Without the great gash of the highway, unless you were in a plain or on a very high hill, on top of a tree, you couldn’t see more than across to the next hill ( if you could see anything at all outside the countless prison bars of the endless trees, stretching for hundreds of miles across the unforgiving hills). Give me the West, where even if I die in a desert I can at least see where I am, where I was headed, and where I came from, and the mountains that call me from the horizon. Still there was some beauty, particularly in the sky as it ripened from deep blue to thin blue to rich darkness pierced by the staring moon – bright and nearly full. Aside from the 30-minute debacle caused by missing a road sign in the dark, the drive to Purcellville, VA went splendidly. I ate my sandwich, I munched straight through the big bag of veggies I had made, and I continued to delight in the sunflower seeds – one of nature’s best snacks. I rocked and rolled to Switchfoot again, then invested in the familiar cadences of Beethoven’s 4th and 2nd piano concertos, and finally grabbed a disc in the dark and popped it in. Odd was the strength of my delight when the first strains of “We Delight,” from the Caedmon’s Call album In the Company of Angels came to my ears. It was a rarely wonderful experience of music, listening through that album, particularly the song “No More My God,” as somehow I almost cried, and raised my hand to the vast sky and the vast God above me…”No more my God, no more my God, no more my God…I boast no more.” Thus clarified and instated the theme of the weekend—the simple prayer that I be amazed at God. For He is amazing. And I need to see that, and be amazed.

The angry, confused, frustrating and wasteful missed turn ensured that I didn’t glide into PHC on a silvery cloud. I flopped out of the car, sore of mind and behind, into the icy darkness of a November evening (dark at 5:30!!), glad to see Rebekah come jogging over from the sidewalk in front of the dorms. To strangely inaugurate a somewhat strange weekend, we trotted right over to a plain of grass outside Founder’s Hall for an 8 o’clock Frisbee game Rebekah had ordained. I shook a few new hands in the dark, heard a few new names to go with them, and once seven of us had congregated we split into teams and started playing. It was very cold, and fairly dark, and the grass was slippery, but it was a pretty good game, and great to play ultimate again after several months without it. And the light-up Frisbee we used was the BOMB! The lights really worked, and we had no problem seeing it or tracking it. Definitely gotta get one of those if I ever see one. We ended at 9 (my team won 4-3!), and several of us went to watch a home-made movie being shown in Founder’s Hall. It turned out to be both feature length and pretty good – with surprisingly good acting to carry it along and some genuinely interesting and funny parts to liven it up. It was about 10:30 when the movie finished up and Bek, myself, and Peter Schellhase (good friend of Rebekah’s and my floorspace-for-the-weekend provider) unloaded Pepsi Blue. Bek bid us adieu and I learned that Peter was planning on getting up at 5:30 in the morning to work on schoolwork, so he and his roommate—also Peter—were hitting the sack. So……I found myself in a dark, silent room, two blankets above the floor, at 11:30 on a Friday night—earlier than I’d been to bed in months, and still barely feeling like I’d arrived, or even knew where I’d arrived to! I tossed and turned and raced my mind around a good deal that night, but still awoke easily and freshly at 8am the next morning. Funny how going to bed earlier makes getting up earlier easier, eh?

Shannon and Heather Quinlisk were originally planning to come on the trip, but Heather is still learning about life and planning and such things, and on Thursday she had to back out, which dominoed Shannon out as well. There were definitely times when the lack of fellow Pittsburghers with which to congregate left me awkwardly wandering the buildings and paths of Patrick Henry College, wishing I knew where to go or what to do, and mostly wishing I didn’t look so out of place. Such a time was Saturday morning, until I met up with Rebekah in the cafeteria for breakfast. Nevertheless, after that brief throwback to my first 2 years at Providence, I ate, talked, laid out the plans for the morning and afternoon, and ended up jogging down a lovely bike path up the road from the college, breathing in the 60-degree crystalline air, wishing my left knee would stop hurting so much, and enjoying the pristine Virginia farm scenery that greeted me from between the trees. I ran from 9:27 to a bit past 10, which was when a seminar began, put on by Grace Community church at the college. Grace Community is a Sovereign Grace church 20 minutes from PHC, attended by more than a fourth of the student body, and wonderfully active in the college’s life. The seminar, called “A Man with a Maiden,” was given passionately, articulately and convincingly by Bob Donahue, the young senior pastor of Grace. The principles of Christian, Biblical relationships between guys and girls and the process of moving towards marriage were nothing new to me, but Mr. Donahue delivered them with a soundness, clarity, boldness and thoroughness that rejoiced my heart. He encompassed all the teaching I had heard on the subject, rounded it all under 7 points, and locked it all under the righteous mantra of God’s glory and goodness. My engineer’s mind was delighted :-)

After the seminar we had lunch, and after lunch I had the privilege of sitting through a moot court round which Rebekah was judging. I had much anticipated getting to see what this part of PHC life was like, and it was quite interesting and engaging. Two groups of two present the two sides of a case in question (under time constraints), while two judges listen, take notes, and ask questions. I could see the great difficulty of learning all the background material for the case (both sides must be learned fully), tying the case names and specific details into your arguments, and, primarily, presenting and defending those arguments with confidence, accuracy and passion in front of two keen-witted judges who have liberty to question you at will. It was a great hour, sitting at the corner of the imposing grand glossy wooden table on a PHC-embossed leather chair, listening to the fine-suited minds of America’s homeschooled youth plow their way through case law, logic, history, and the meaning of the constitution. And though I was clad in grass-stained jeans and a dumpy (yet eminently comfortable) hoodie, I was allowed to keep time for the match, signaling the minutes as they passed distressingly fast for the presenters. By the end I could feel the desire to learn the case, decide my stands, work out my reasoning, and get up there and argue and convince and answer. I can definitely understand now Rebekah’s glowing excitement after 3 days of a national moot court competition!

After the moot court round Rebekah showed me around her building a bit and then retired to try to get some work done. I went back to Peter and Peter’s room and spent an hour updating and clearing out my cell phone, pumping Audio Adrenaline, and getting my mind back into Laplace Transforms for Systems and Signals class. At four o’clock Rebekah, myself, and several other PHC’ers congregated outside Founder’s Hall to begin the setup for that evening’s HOEDOWN!

Under the apt and kind direction of Brianne us helper folk loaded trays of cookies and coolers of ice into our cars, and soon headed out down the Virginia roads to the farm where the hoedown was to be held. It was a beautiful drive. The sun was nearing the end of its path for the day, and its sideways light brought out the countryside in fine, warm detail, like a photograph on a mushy calendar. The hoedown was to be held in a great big barnish contraption, somewhat like a permanent domed tent building, yet with running water, a kitchen, and other amenities. We unloaded our cargo, set it up preliminarily, and thankfully had plenty of time to head back for some dinner. For the sake of gas efficiency I opted to ride with Rebekah and one of her roommates, Katie. This turned out to be a great decision, since we got to talk and listen with each other for nearly two hours as we drove back to the college, discovered the dining hall was shut down, and then proceeded to seek out somewhere for a quick dinner. We found it at the “Hot Wok,” and snagged Bek’s dry cleaning as an added bonus. The Schezuan Chicken was pretty good, though it didn’t come in time to stave off the angry upset my stomach always produces when it’s not filled soon enough. As Barney would say, “I had low sugar-blood!” (Andy Griffith Show joke) [And I spelled schezuan right on the second try :-) ]

At last we returned to the great glowing tent, or barn, or whatever it was, and helped with the last frantic preparations. More than half the college turned out, and the evening was truly a blast. There was a good band with a very patient caller for the contra dancing that filled the night. I missed a few of the first dances but landed the rest, and had a great time. It made me think again of how much fun it must have been hundreds of years ago when contra dancing was the thing everybody did, and everyone knew the moves and the dances. I imagine there was a great corporate sense of community and unity as many moved in concert with each other, down through the patterns of moves, separate people moving in co-operative harmony. The evening also furnished a great context for meeting and getting familiar with more folks from PHC, and by the end of the night I was having a great time with Derek, Robert, Brianne, Rachel and others. I was even feeling confident enough to break out the Gollum voice after I shut off the final breakers, plunging the barn and surroundings into darkness. Needless to say, it went over well, especially with Derek, who is my MAN :-) He and I rode home in my car, along with the 65-pound keg of root beer. And in a great Patrick Henry moment, the twinkling stars looked down to see two guys lugging a keg into the girls dorm after midnight.!! Albeit under the direction of Brianne, in the presence of returning hoedowners, and with the necessity of the keg’s weight. I still found it funny. And I found it enjoyable that once again I was in the thick of things – behind the scenes, setting up and tearing down, with people I’d just met and in a place I’d never been before. I was rather pleased that Derek and I were, inadvertently, the last ones to leave the hoedown :-)

So, yeah—that night was way fun, and the joy of the evening, as I soaked in the hot shower at 12:30, was tempered only by the severe aching of my feet and calves, not yet used to my recently-purchased shoes and arch supports. The shower was good, though—good to warm up after a very cold night, good to loosen up after nearly 7 hours on my feet, and good to think on the profitable and enjoyable activities of the day.

I slept well Saturday night :-)

And arose Sunday morning, still in time despite failing to properly set my alarm. Peter Schellhase and I met up with Rebekah at 8:30 and we all headed to church, stopping for delicious coffee at Market Street Coffee on the way. I had jogged up to my car and grabbed “Nothing is Sound,” so Rebekah got to hear Switchfoot’s latest work for the first time. We cranked it, I head-banged in the back seat, and together we listened, analyzed, and considered the music. Peter is a big music fan, and it was cool to hear his perspective on music. And also to hear that both he and Rebekah liked the album fairly well, which I have myself come to love deeply (though how lastingly I cannot yet say).

Church was fantastic. The worship team and sound quality were excellent, the songs began to turn my heart upwards, and Bob Donahue’s passionate preaching, radiating pastoral care and concern - clear, broad, and yet cohesive, truly lifted my soul. His call to simply “be amazed” at what kind of love the Father has shown us resonated with what had already been stirred up earlier that weekend. Bob reminded me a lot of Mr. Pierson here in Pittsburgh. It was a joy to sit under his preaching, and also to spend the morning in his church, full of students and families, unified by the gospel of Jesus Christ and friendly with the warmth of God’s heart-changing love.

After church we headed back to PHC and assembled sandwiches for lunch at the cafeteria. The food seems to be quite good there, probably due to the vastly smaller number of students for which they must cook. Though the pop fountain had Mr. Pibb and not Dr.Pepper, it was so good as to be nearly indistinguishable from the grand master which it emulates.

At this time I was roughly on schedule for getting home as planned and making the last half of One Voice practice that evening. However, we ended up hanging out nearly 2 hours longer, watching the pastor’s video Daniel, Jonathan and I had made, meeting more new people, talking with new friends, and packing up. Though I lost track of the time, I do not regret its expenditure, and it was with a joyful glow that I pulled around the loop and exited the tiny campus of Patrick Henry College at 4 o’clock. The familiar pang was there in all it’s indescribable deepness and vagueness . . my old friend from Akron and Indiana, always there when I leave a wonderful weekend with wonderful friends. Always sweet, yet always sad, deep down. I rolled through the countryside, like driving through a picturesque puzzle scene, and let the Mazda’s eager engine pull along my happy, aching heart. I stopped at the Exxon next to VA-340 and tanked up, disappointed at the lack of cherry-vanilla Dr.Pepper yet happy to fill up my water bottle and purchase desperately-needed chapstick. At last I pulled out, turned right, and started the drive back -- back through the hills, back through the long dark of the early night, back through the comfortable isolation of a solo drive, back through the memories of a weekend now past—once anticipated, briefly experienced, and now past, yet alive in happy memories, as the cars glared in the rearview mirror and all faded into warm darkness but the road, the lanes, and the lights.

The sunflower seeds didn’t taste as good on the way home, and I was a bit tired of Audio Adrenaline, but it was still a good trip. I enjoyed the stop at Taco Bell for dinner, and learned a new lesson: if on a road trip by yourself at night, do not buy Chalupas. They explode. Despite my best efforts, and many stretches of driving with my knees, I wound up with cheese and toppings strewn all across the front seat. It was disconcerting to put my hand down for something and find a great pile of tomatoes in my lap! Still, they were delicious, and the food kept me alert as the weekend’s weariness descended upon me. I was tired and worn out when I at last pulled into the garage at 8:45pm, and was happy to flop on a couch and watch the Steelers-Browns game with Dad and recall the weekend in sketchy segments between good plays.

I’m tired now, but at least this journal is finished, and I think I’ve expressed this weekend fairly well. I wish I could express things better without using this grand, ponderous impersonal voice, but I don it in the name of accuracy and communication, and forsaking it would leave unsaid much that could be conveyed. Still, it’s just me writing here, and I hope you enjoyed the report, and I really hope I can stay awake in biochem tomorrow morning, and I really am looking forward to the next time I can trek down to Virginia, this time to visit many friends, and to make myself a part again, for a few quick days, of the intense cluster of thought, diligence and intelligence that is Patrick Henry College.

--JPB

The Instation

Or, for those of you who knew (and hopefully loved) the old blog, the reinstation.

I've run out of patience with modblog, and since my life continues to happen whether I can journal it or not, I'm trying out a new site. Here shall lie primarily journalish entries of what I'm doing these days, mostly for my own future reference but also hopefully for your present entertainment and edification. Here also shall lie extemporaneous ruminations upon diverse matters that may currently be intriguing my thoughts and begging clarification and communication through writing.

In addition, I've fired up a new photo site, at least temporarily.

And don't be fooled by this aloof and austere writing style. I reckon I'm the most unaloof (say that out loud - it's fun!) guy to ever wear four glowsticks on his head :-) It's just that I've been taking a critical writing course this semester, and it's sparked my brain into thinking of good words and good ways to write things.

Aight, well, there's the background info. Here's hoping for a new flavor of Dr.Pepper to come out soon!

--John Behrens
Clear Ambassador
under the Coated Emporer
(All you Christian drummers out there, laugh with me! And then rub your chins and furrow your brows at the deep wisdom of it.)